Getting the Fuck Out

I had spent almost a week in Seattle as my escape from Thanksgiving. FYI, I hate the holidays. I needed an escape from Cali, work, life, etc. All I really wanted to do was to read my book, walk around the city, enjoy some good food, take some photos, and repeat. I arrived early Thanksgiving morning in Seattle and as I made my way to the light rail to go to my hotel, I already felt this huge relief. A lot of weight had shifted from my shoulders. The ride on the light rail to the hotel was relaxing to me. Walking to my hotel and taking in that crisp, morning air was just so refreshing. I really miss the cold weather. It’s a shame that Californians can’t appreciate the cold weather. Constant sunshine isn’t all that great. I was pretty exhausted and just wanted to quickly unpack and get settled in. I didn’t get much sleep the night before so I wanted to knock out as soon as possible. I ordered room service and indulged in a yummy burger which put my ass into food coma haha. I woke up to pretty much go across the street for dinner. After that dinner it was still pretty early and decided to go watch ‘Justice League’, which was good. I ended the night with going to the gym, sauna and hot tub at the hotel and went to bed early. That was my ideal ‘Thanksgiving’. It was just so peaceful.

I got to finish a design management book (Radical Candor by Kim Scott) that I was reading and got to start reading ‘After Dark’ by Haruki Murakami, which I ended up finishing in less than 3 days. I had so much time on my hands that it wasn’t hard to breeze through that book like nothing. I checked out different coffee shops in the area, explored a bunch of bookstores and of course continued stuffing my face during these moments of exploration. I found a used copy of ‘the Diary of Anaïs Nin: Vol. 2’ at one of the used bookstores that I checked out. I didn’t think I’d find anything that would remotely catch my attention but happy to find that for $3. Score! I plan on finding the other volumes and adding it to my library. I usually returned back to my hotel pretty early to relax since I don’t go out late like that at all. I made the conscious effort to work out while I’m traveling, which only encouraged me to go eat even more delicious food in Seattle haha.

My trip was fun yet relaxing. I truly felt happy and not one bit alone even though I had traveled alone. I didn’t feel scared walking around at night by myself. Everyone in Seattle was just so friendly and kind to me wherever I went. I clicked so well with the people and the city. However the moment I got back to Cali, my mood shifted instantly. I realized how shitty Californians are and how much I really hate this state. The people here are spoiled, rude, dumb, etc. The moment I landed back in Cali, I got into an argument with this dumb bitch at the airport. I don’t understand this bubble of sunshine that Californians live in and I don’t care to ever understand because they’re so out of touch with reality and it’s really sad and pathetic. I thought about my 5 year plan while I was on the light rail to the airport in Seattle and the goal is to be debt free, save up, get my health in a better place, become more well established in my career and move to Seattle hopefully. I’m pretty much only staying here for my career. As much as I hate the people and the state, there’s been great opportunities here. There is a strong design community out here, but I’ve come to terms that might not be enough for me to stay. I’ve never called this place my home because it’s not. It’s really just a long business trip to me. I didn’t leave Boston with the mentality that Cali will be my new home. I strictly came here for growth in my career and I continue to stick with that plan.

I made friends with the girl sitting next to me during my flight back to Cali. I gave her my business card to keep in touch since I had some questions for her about Seattle and vice versa. I will be going back to Seattle for Christmas and during that time I plan on getting quite serious in where abouts in Seattle that I want to live in. Seattle is truly my happy place. For now, time to hustle real hard and get the fuck out.


Refreshing Acquaintance

I had recently gone to Portland for the first time, which I might blog about it when I get the chance. During my last day in Portland, I decided to go to the Japanese Garden regardless if it rained or not. That morning when I woke up, I noticed that it was bright in sunny so I quickly got ready for breakfast so I could beat the rain. Well that failed. After I finished my breakfast at a restaurant near my hotel, I started pouring. I just sucked it up and requested an Uber anyways. A little rain wouldn’t hurt and plus I really wanted to walk off the breakfast that I had.

When I had arrived to the Japanese Garden, the rain had died down a bit which I was happy about so I could take pictures with my camera. I took my time walking through the place since I wasn’t in a rush to go anywhere. I really wanted to get familiar with my new camera and make more use of it while I was there. There were moments that I’d have to sit down because it was either raining again or I was just tired. During the moments that I was sitting down, I’d go through the pictures that I had just taken to see if I liked the shot or not and take advantage of retaking any photos if I had to.

As I was reaching towards the end of the garden and taking some final photos of this one spot in the garden, I decided to take a seat on a bench under this structure. While sitting there I was just enjoying the view while browsing through my camera. At one point I looked up and noticed this guy was taking a photo of the structure where I was sitting under. I felt a bit awkward being in this guy’s photo, but I really didn’t care enough to get up and move haha. I continued going through my camera and noticed he was going to sit next to me. He asked if it was okay and I said sure. As I was looking like a total hot ass mess with my hair that got frizzy and gross from the rain, he said something to me. Honestly can’t recall what he said, but we started chatting. I learned it was both our first time in Portland and he was also from SJ, so that was cool.

He continued to make his way through the garden and I decided to head towards the gift shop. While I was dorking it up in the gift shop and debating on the items that I was about to purchase, came walking in that guy. We chatted again and I introduced myself to him since we were bumping into each other again. He walked out again and I decided it was time to leave since I really wanted some coffee. When I made my way down the exit, he got there the same time as me and noticed that I was about to request an Uber and offered me a ride since we were headed towards the same direction. Rule of thumb is to never take a ride from a stranger. Well I kinda said fuck it, and accepted his offer lol. Plus I thought to myself that I could totally kick his ass if he tried something and he genuinely seemed harmless so whatever.

As we chatted, he had asked if I was traveling alone and I was as well as himself. We were getting to know each other a bit and we were both planning to go to this arcade bar later that night too. As my destination was approaching and I was about to get out of the car, I gave him my business card to hit me up so I can buy him a drink in order to thank him for the ride. Hours went by and I had finished grabbing dinner. Still no word from him about meeting up or anything. Also, I’m an idiot that failed to get his contact info since I was really tired and wanted to get out of the car to get that coffee lol. I didn’t really care to go to this spot, but it was extremely close to my hotel and no harm in getting out for just a bit. When I walked in, I checked out the place and what games were there. I was making my way up the stairs to continue checking out the place and suddenly I felt a tap on my arm. It was him making his way down. I honestly didn’t expect to run into him at all.

We walked down and chatted. I didn’t bring it up that he didn’t hit me up because it wasn’t a big deal. I told him I only came to play Street Fighter, which is my all time favorite game. I can talk a lot of shit about how wonderful my skills are in this game aka press all of the buttons haha, so he told me to challenge the guy that was currently playing. I felt a bit embarrassed if I made myself look like an ass, but it’s literally just a game. I played the guy and it was really fun. Turns out I kicked his ass 4 times and stole his quarters, too haha. After I was done playing with that stranger, he wanted to play me…only for me to get my ass kicked by him. Sighs haha.

I didn’t care to stick around much longer and same for him since he was there for awhile. I asked him if he wanted the drink that I owe him, but he had to get up early the next day to drive back to SJ. I was more alert and got his contact info after he mentioned he has mines to hit me up for a drink back in SJ. After stepping outside, he offered to walk me back to my hotel which was really nice of him. We had a nice chat during the very brief walk back to my hotel. When we arrived, I thanked him and we parted ways. While on my flight back to SJ, I was pleasantly surprised to see that he texted me to let me know that he was back home and checked to see if I was back yet. That put a smile on my face. Since returning to SJ, he’s been texting me and we’ve been chatting everyday.

I’m not expecting anything to happen between us whether it’s just a friendship or more. I enjoyed his brief company during my travels and our text messages. It was just refreshing to meet an actual nice guy for once that wasn’t looking to just fuck me or yet alone meeting someone at a bar or something. I was just this disheveled looking girl going through her camera and minding her business.  Anyways, nothing like getting hit on in mother nature though haha. There was something about that Portland air. 🙂

Lantern Fest 2016

Back in April as I was working from home on a Friday afternoon, I texted my close friend, KH to see how she was doing and to quickly catch up since we both have polar opposite schedules. Out of nowhere she asked how far Phoenix is from me and I asked her why. She shared a link to me about this lantern release festival that was happening there and wanted to go. I asked her how long she was thinking about going for and after that we both coordinated our schedules and booked our flights haha. It was a pretty spontaneous thing, which I didn’t mind at all. One minute I’m checking emails, next minute I’m booking a trip in 3 weeks haha. Work has bogged my down far enough that I was in need of a quick trip out of town. I was already contemplating on visiting Seattle again, but I’m glad I didn’t get too far with planning that. I was excited to see KH and to have some much needed girl time. Plus it was her birthday when I see her so it was nice to treat her while I can instead of sending a card and gifts.

For whatever reason throughout the trip, we were listening to a lot of country music lol. I’m not a big country music kinda gal, but it’s alright. Everywhere that we were driving to like from Sedona and to the Lantern Fest, we were playing loud country music haha. It was entertaining how much of a shift in our taste in music has happened as we’ve gotten older. Going from hip hop to country…hmmm. Although the music seemed appropriate with our surroundings of dessert and cactus. The entire trip felt like a road trip and I miss doing things like that with friends back home. People here suck and aren’t down for shit like that. Lame. I’m just glad I got to do that with a close friend.

After an hour driving south of Phoenix, we finally got to the Lantern Fest. There were a ton of families and kids. Once we checked in, we got our paper lantern and a box filled with a s’mores kit along with a wooden stick to roast the marshmallows, a lighter and a Sharpie for you to write on the lantern. We walked around to see what else was happening at the event and there wasn’t much besides food vendors and live music. We were kinda out in the middle of nowhere so yeah…haha. Since I like to be extra prepared for any situation, I packed blankets for us to sit down on along with snacks and water. There were lots of tiki torches and communal fire pits everywhere. Our goal was to not sit too close to families and screaming children since we were trying to enjoy our beer lol. Luckily we found a spot next to this guy and girl that looked close in age to us. They looked like they had the same thing in mind with where they sat. We sat with them and soon enough they were our homies for the night. Really nice people and the two of them were having a little reunion themselves.

While we were waiting for the sun to go down and sipping on oh so many beers, I got pretty tan. It was just this waiting game for the sun to go down. Once it got dark enough to start preparing our lanterns for take off, we were writing on the lanterns and decorating them. I wrote my wish right before I went to light it and who knows if it’ll come true, but still not gonna share what it was. 🙂 A lot of people managed to quickly get there’s lit and released. They’re such a pain in the ass to light up. I had to have like 2-3 other people help me haha. When KH and I tried to light and release ours, we were pretty embarrassing. While everyone else was having this magical moment letting go of theirs, KH and I almost started a fire lol. Of course stupid shit happens when you put us together so I’m not surprised that happened haha. It was pretty funny. Right before I lit mines, I was just in a total daze admiring all of the lanterns floating away. It was the most beautiful thing that I’ve ever seen. Something about seeing the lanterns float away and the campfire made that moment feel so intimate. I would love to go to this event again, but perhaps in another state. KH and I thought it would be a fun thing where this could be our thing where we have our little reunions at Lantern Fest but in a different location. I think the one in Alaska would be fun to check out.

Highly suggest to check this out. It was awesome. 🙂

Can’t Catch A Break

I’ve been working every single day this past month. It’s safe to say that I’m pretty burnt out and very much sleep deprived. But with all the hard work that I’ve devoted to this project where I am the lead designer, I’m very proud of myself with its progress and the feedback I’ve received after today’s presentation. I’m currently working on the mobile design of the project and been trying to figure out some of the kinks. I look like a crazy person just doodling up so many paper prototypes because I needed to give my eyes a break from looking at my computer. As that midnight oil was burning last night cranking away at this project to have enough to present today, I had to force myself to go to bed.

Yet as I got into bed, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Then it came to me that my colleague had shown me this app to view my mockup on my phone. After I downloaded it and connected my document to my phone, I was really happy with the design. As corny as it may sound I was so proud of the design that happy tears were ready to burst. To hold my phone and viewing my design on there felt so gratifying. There was just something about literally having that design in the palm of your hands make it feel so real. Corny, I know I know. Anyways, I was definitely able to fall asleep happily after viewing my prototype. I felt more confident about presenting the designs and I received more great feedback from the stakeholders and my team after today’s meetings. It made me feel relieved since I’ve been busting my ass all month long.

I’ll be flying to Chicago tomorrow to visit my close friend C and as a little belated birthday trip for myself. I was dreading the thought of having to do any work while I’m traveling since I’ve been working a lot this month. However, I am still going to pack my laptop with me just in case, but at least I know that I’m feeling a lot more relieved with today’s successful presentation. I’ve been in need of a break, time to myself to just not think about much and do whatever. Definitely looking forward to seeing C since I’ve failed to visit her ever since we both moved out of Boston and she’s visited me twice since I’ve been in Cali. I’m excited to catch up, chill, have girl time and eat bomb food. Although I am dreading about packing when I get home from work. Blahhh! I feel like I’ve kinda sorta forgotten how to dress for legit cold weather after living in Cali. I had to reschedule yesterday’s acupuncture appointment to tomorrow instead since I had so much to get done. Looking forward to acupuncture and massage before my flight tomorrow!

Can’t wait to get to Chicago. 🙂

Boston Recap

I just got back from Boston on Thanksgiving night. It was such an exhausting day since I was practically traveling all day. I was there for 2 weeks and was considering on even extending my trip, but unfortunately I have to be a responsible adult and return back to Cali. Oddly every time when I go back it feels like I never left. This is my second time where I’ve stayed for 2 weeks and I felt like I either never moved or I was back for a month. I really miss it a lot. During the last 2-3 days of my trip I tend to get pretty emotional since I know how homesick I’ll be when I go back to Cali.

On my way to the airport I got teary eyed a bit as I stared out the window aimlessly listening to music. When I finally got to the airport and checked in and all, I went to have a few drinks since I had too much time to kill before my flight. I didn’t want to be emotional about leaving along with a few other things, but I couldn’t help it. So I just kept drinking to numb these thoughts. After boarding and the plane taking off, the tears started streaming. I probably sound like a drunk mess, but I promise I was fine lol. I get the most upset whenever the plane takes off because I’m really sad to leave Boston.

I’m happy I got to see my friends and to catch up like old times. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to do as much nor see that many people since I’m still dealing with sciatica. It’s gradually getting better but I was really scared to go off anywhere by myself and the thought of falling without anyone with me freaked me out a lot. So I just stuck with my plans rather than doing my usual roaming around the city. Pretty bummed out that I couldn’t do certain things, but there’s always next time. Also, I dealt with a cold while I was there since I wasn’t getting much sleep after long nights with friends, which kinda screwed up some of my plans.

M’s annual Thanksgiving pot luck was alright. A much smaller group this year and strangely there was a lot of girls attending this year. Usually it’s a much larger group and we’re a lot louder, but this year was much more low key. I was excited to hear from B and that he was going to be coming. When B had arrived my friends made me go get the door for him as they changed seats while I was gone so I could sit next to him and for them to be able to tease me some more about him lol. Asshole friends haha. B seemed a bit bored during this event and so I had extended an invite to him to join my close friend J and I for drinks the next night. I was pretty glad he came along and no not because I have a crush on him. Just the more, the merrier.

Came Monday was when I woke up with a cold. I immediately cancelled plans with another friend. Felt bad but I really wasn’t up for it and plus I was working remotely. I just felt so out of it. That day B and I were suppose to hang out but plans were still up in the air. As I was working remotely at M’s place in my pj’s, out of nowhere B shows up at the door. I was a bit embarrassed since I wasn’t dressed and looked like a hot mess lol. When I opened the door, I was greeted with a hug and he delivered me some milk tea which was very sweet of him. We were just chatting and then he had asked about my sciatica. I told him it’s gradually getting better but my leg and back still hurts. Soon he reveals that he got licensed to be a masseuse in Japan lol. I was like wtf?? lol. Next thing you know he was just touching my ENTIRE leg (I was wearing shorts, too) where no man’s hand should go that far unless you’re my boyfriend lol. I felt so embarrassed and was so happy that M and her hubby was at work lol. I could imagine all the shit they’d give me if they were around. Anyways, I appreciated the massage and my leg was feeling a little bit better. I got an offer for a back massage but told him he’s done enough lol and I didn’t feel comfortable with him touching me that much. Talk about copping some feels lol. But my friends were entertained by this story sighs haha…

Eventually I made my way to my parents house. I have to say I wasn’t really spending that much while I was with my friends, but when I got to my parents I swear they were gonna leave me going back to Cali broke haha. Since I’m at a semi-stable job, it was nice that I was able to splurge on them. One day we went to visit my grandma and prior to visiting her I took my mom grocery shopping at the Asian market. Where my folks live there are no Asian markets so whenever I’m back my mom takes advantage of it mainly buying ingredients to make herbal soups. I was hoping she wouldn’t fight me on paying for the overfilled cart of groceries and luckily she got distracted and was able to quickly pay. Next day I had to take my dad to renew his license since he speaks pretty broken English. Paid for that and bought him a new pair of shoes. Another night treated them to hot pot dinner and helped them buy some stuff for their business. Talk about spoiled, but I’m really happy I am financially able to do this for them. They appreciate it and feel less worried about me since I am able to provide for them again like I used to be able to when I was living back Boston.

Overall, it was a good trip despite a few bumps in the road. When I woke up the next day after coming back to Cali, I really felt like I never went to Boston. It’s really strange. I’m not sure as to when I’ll be going back since I’ve made quite a few trips going back this past year. We shall see, but I miss everyone so much.

Back to my quiet, workaholic life…


Everyone has their ways of coping with certain situations. As for me and how I currently am, I prefer to not talk to anyone. I already interact a lot with my coworkers during work. I like to spend the remainder of my time outside of work in peace. It’s nothing personal towards anyone. I just have nothing to say nor am I really in the mood to socialize. I just want to be alone with peace and quiet. I’d rather not discuss my feelings as I’m trying to forget it all. I’m already reminded enough as is when I sit in silence. I know it’s best to talk about it but right now for me I’d rather not. I already rant about it enough as is on here.

I’ve been spending a lot working out and trying to strengthen my body since I’m such an emotional wreck. At least I’m getting in shape even though emotionally I feel like total shit, right? I come to Communications Hill a lot to not only get a work out in but it’s just my place to come and cope with my feelings. Every time I’m done with my workout, I sit my ass on the bench or go stand by one of the balcony areas and just chill. I try to relax and ease my mind. It’s probably where I get a good reality check when I’m at that spot as my emotions just become so overwhelming for me. The waterworks come and I just want to get it all out of my system. I sometimes feel like I’m mourning something so tragic, when all it really is is that someone broke my heart. Whenever he comes to mind, I just feel so worthless about myself. I allowed him to come back every time just to crush me harder than the previous time. You’ve won.

Anyways, if I was back in Boston I would’ve already made a quick weekend trip to NY just to get away. I don’t have as much of an easy escape getaway to go to besides maybe LA or Vegas but I don’t care for those cities. I’ve already made some travel arrangements, even though it’s not exactly where I should even go but I don’t give a fuck. Not like he’ll notice. Hopefully I’ll have everything figured out and booked soon. I wish I had someone to join me but it’s probably best I go alone. It’ll be my first time really traveling by myself and not having any company at all. Usually I’ll either have at least one friend in the city I’m traveling to or I’m accompanied by 2-3 other people. It’ll be good for me. Plus, I miss packing my things and traveling especially to somewhere new. Maybe I’ll come back feeling better or worst. Who knows? Ironically I’m going closer to him yet I’m trying to cope. How contradicting, but whatever. Hope my plans goes well because I’m ready to pack my bags.


I really do miss traveling. I’m glad I got to do a bit more traveling prior to my move or even during my move. I miss exploring a new city, trying the local favorite foods, and everything else that entails with visiting a new surrounding. The other day I contacted my close friend that recently relocated to Austin, TX to see what she’s been up to and what not. Unfortunately she’s headed back to Japan to handle some personal affairs, so I suppose visiting Austin, TX won’t happen any time soon. I talked to my close friend from back at home and I might join her and our mutual friends in a trip to Portland, OR. I’d love to go to Seattle, but I’ll digress.

Austin, Portland, Seattle and I think Phoenix is on my travel list for this year, but we shall see. I haven’t really explored much of the south or the west coast that much. I want to visit those cities because I would like to try to go somewhere new once a year. My ultimate travel goal is to travel to every state. Of course I’d love to travel somewhere international that isn’t Canada haha. I’d love to visit Japan and S. Korea. For now I just wanna get away for the weekend somewhere other than going to somewhere else in Cali. I’ve even looked at flights to visit home, but I’m gonna wait until the fall. Being in Boston during the fall is absolutely the best. It’s so cozy, you see the foliage, and of course I can actually make use of my peacoat haha.

Maybe I’ll even join my friends from home on their trip to Vancouver. It has been awhile since I’ve been there and it’d be nice to see my friends from there. There’s lots of places I want to just up and go to but once again I am not ballin’ like that ….yet haha. I’ve been spending a lot more time outdoors either running or outside of Starbucks with a book or my laptop since it’s definitely warmed up here this past week. Absorbing all of that vitamin D before I get busy with work, which I’m looking forward to. I suppose I can continue to day dream about it while I enjoy my last weekend of freedom.