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It’s 11:00 PM PST. Only one hour left until my birthday is over. I have to say today was a great day. It was hands down one of the most low key birthdays that I’ve ever had. I was dreading my birthday a lot this year due to lack of company and just being away from home in general. I was really unhappy to spend it alone. I wasn’t expecting a big party or to go out and get drunk. I’d be fine with doing anything with good company, but once again I lack in that department. I didn’t want to be all mopey on my birthday, so last night I made a “birthday to do list”. It’ll give me some thing to do and won’t leave me throughout the day feeling like “well what now?”. I was looking forward to accomplishing what was on the list. It really wasn’t much but to me it meant a lot. I do a lot of those things on a daily basis but still.

As soon as I woke up I got ready and wore my favorite color, yellow and made myself a nice breakfast before I got a jump start on my list. I didn’t think the list was gonna keep me busy today but it definitely surprised me. I think the one thing I spent the longest time with was buying myself flowers. I really didn’t wanna get roses and I’m generally not a fan of the mixed bouquets. I went to 3 different places and finally the last place satisfied me. As much as I didn’t want to get roses, I loved the color of these. They’re a nice lavender purple. Pictures of it doesn’t do its justice. As soon as I got home with the bouquet I arranged it in the only vase I have which was being used for something else. Glad I managed to fit the flowers in it. I didn’t really wanna drive out again to buy a vase if it didn’t fit. I’m happy with the way it came out. For whatever reason I find it relaxing and a bit calming when I arrange flowers. I always hand pick a bouquet for my mom and I arrange it to my likings rather than how the florist does it.

Anyways, today was the first time where I went to watch a movie by myself. I never thought it was weird or wrong to watch a movie by yourself. I just prefer to have company so I can discuss the film with someone afterwards. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be to watch it alone and I actually enjoyed it. I decided to watch “Her”. I heard great things and the trailer definitely intrigued me. I caught the early bird showing of it and sat smack in the center. I’ll probably write an in depth post about the movie, but I loved it. Great movie! So far one of my favs for 2014. There’s gonna be some great upcoming movies that I saw during the previews. I’m excited for that as well!

There were some last minute additions to my plans today, which was fine with me since I had accomplished most of it. There’s this guy H who I’ve been talking to. No, not pursuing him. Just only as friends. Really nice and funny guy. He was really nice and suggested to take me out for lunch and dessert, but I was already on my way to the movies and whatnot. So we made plans to have dinner and dessert instead when he got out of work. It was a pretty adventurous dinner plan that we had haha. He was looking up places last minute and kept mentioning to go eat pho. I was ready to back hand him if that was gonna happen lol. We headed to this sushi restaurant in Fremont, but turned out it was closed for maintenance. Total fail! So then we headed to another one that was also located in Fremont called Satomi Sushi. The sushi there was sooooo good! I’m glad H checked Yelp to see what was recommended. There was this photo of a super large maki and apparently it was on the secret menu. We asked the waitress for it and we were excited to try it as well as the other things we ordered. When we finished our meal, H was gentlemen and paid. I felt horrible since it was our first time hanging out and I don’t care if it’s my birthday or not. I just didn’t want him to be forking out money like that during our first hangout. Afterwards, we just headed to get some milk tea at Ten Ren in Milpitas. Soon we called it a night and plus food coma was kicking in.

When I got home it was still relatively early. It was only 8PM and I realized I didn’t get myself some cake. Milk tea was our dessert after dinner but that’s because we were super full from the sushi. I drove down the street to this dessert spot near my place and picked up this chocolate hazelnut mousse cake. I was tempted to get tiramisu but I wanted to try something different. I was happy with my selection because it tasted just like Ferreira Roche chocolates. So yummy!!! Now I’m just finishing up this post and enjoying my beer in bed. Probably gonna read my book and call it a day soon.

Overall it was a great day and I was overwhelmed with the kindness of my friends from back at home texting me all day. It really meant a lot to me. I was surprised that certain people remembered it, but then again disappointed that I didn’t hear from one person, but it’s okay. I’m not surprised. Last night when I was chatting with my close friend A, she was really sweet and mentioned how she’ll check in with me throughout the day to see the status of my birthday to do list. I literally teared up when she said that. Although I had company during dinner, I still wanted to be around someone. Just to sit and talk. But at least having some company was better than none at all. Before I started on this post, I got to Skype with my dad so that was great as well. I felt very loved today but deep down I feel very lonely still. I did a good job masking it all today with my optimism and just embracing the day for what it is. I’m glad I was able to stay occupied throughout the day. I feel very successful in accomplishing such simple tasks today. Turning 26 didn’t feel too bad after all. I think this is a newfound tradition of mines. Maybe next year’s list will be much more epic. 🙂

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I’ve been meaning to make a trip to the farmer’s market to see what flower selections they might possibly have as well as to pick up some produce. Sometimes when I go grocery shopping I like to just take a quick peek at what flower selections they have just for the hell of it. A month ago I saw that there was peonies in stock at my local grocery store. I was really excited to see them there and was tempted to buy a couple stems for my room. I passed on buying them and when I did reconsider going back to the grocery store a couple days later they were all gone. I was so bummed out haha. Peonies are one of my favorite flowers. I’ve never been the typical roses kinda gal. I like the smell of roses but I don’t care for the actual flower. Back then I used to love stargazer lilies, but not anymore. I don’t know why I like peonies so much, but I do.

Sadly for being a grown woman, I’ve never ever had anyone buy me flowers. Not even from my family for graduations or birthdays. Shit, not even from ex-boyfriends. It just shows how shitty the guys I dated really were lol. Oh well, but it is what it is. It’s one of the most simple things I could ever ask for as a gift. I’d be fine if you even picked the flowers from a garden or even give me one stem of a peony since I know how pricey they are. I’m not one to demand for an obnoxiously massive bouquet. That’s just a bit much haha. I’m a quality over quantity kinda gal. I am very simple minded. Perhaps too simple for my own good lol. A lot of the things I like doesn’t match up with most girls. I kinda have this weird theory that one day when a guy buys me flowers, he might be the right one. Silly and stupid thought but whatever. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with buying flowers for yourself. I’m not gonna wait forever for someone to get me something so simple haha. If it was in my funds, I’d probably buy myself fresh flowers once a month. There’s something refreshing about having fresh flowers in your room. For now my artificial peony on my nightstand shall suffice. 🙂

I have to admit that at night I feel the most lonely. It’s one of the other moments during my day that I dread the most, besides waking up early on Mondays haha. I find myself laying in bed in total darkness with my mind filled with so many wandering thoughts. Some needing answers to the questions I have in mind. It’s gotten harder for me to fall asleep even though work has worn me out a lot. I’m getting really bad headaches before bed now and sometimes melatonin just backfires on me. I just feel like pillow talk is the perfect remedy. I feel like I just miss having someone to talk to at night. It doesn’t necessarily have to be chatting with a guy either. There was just something so comforting to me. I find that during the darkest hour of night, you can reveal so much to each other. There’s something so sweet and sincere about it. It’s what I’m craving for. It’s even better when the person is next to you. Just laying next to each other, no physical contact, and just let out all your thoughts. Even if the person can’t be there and can at least be on the other end of the phone line was good enough. It’s even better when the conversation can go on for hours and you lose track of time.

One of the many simple things I enjoy and miss so much.