I love my career, but I absolutely hate having to explain to people what I do. It gets frustrating because they don’t understand what a designer goes through and the shit we have to put up with. I hate it even more that I’ve gone through a few contract positions out here, and when I come across a new opportunity and tell someone their reaction isn’t the greatest. Their response is usually “ooh…”. Whatever happened to congrats?! That kinda shit really irks me because it’s just plain rude. It makes me feel like I’m looked down on because here I am a “struggling” designer that got yet another design job. I don’t need anyone to “feel bad” for me. It’s what comes with staying in this industry. Trust me I don’t enjoy having to bounce from job to job. It was something that stressed me out so much when I first arrived in California going through the whole job searching process or taking on short term contracts. It’s something that I’ve accepted out here and have gotten use to. Designers are primarily contractors because companies don’t want to pay the benefits or provide a work station so they can spend their money elsewhere. It’s as simple as that. It’s definitely a semi shitty position to be in since it lacks security and stability, but it definitely opens doors to different companies and to expand your network as well. I definitely miss the permanent, full time positions back at home, but the opportunities there versus here cannot compare. There’s just a lot of room for me to grow as a designer here. Plus, I feel like I get a lot more respect out here where when it comes to projects, my opinion actually matters. I never got that in Boston. Some of my previous bosses could careless about me as long as the project was completed. There wasn’t any growth or a challenge at all. Anyways, I’m not expecting the red carpet treatment or tons of attention on me when I do share with people that I got yet another new job. I would just like some respect for the career I’ve fought extremely long and hard for. If you don’t want to hear about my career or whatever else, just tell me. It’s as simple as that.


New Day, New Job

This past week I started a new job. I was torn between two jobs I was getting hired for. Both companies liked me (but then again who wouldn’t haha jk), but there were pros and cons to both. The first company was out in the boonies and it wasn’t an amazing company even though I’d still be doing design. Perks of that company was that it was a permanent full time job. The second company is a 3 month contract, great company, amazing benefits, etc etc. So do you go with the stable income or take the risk in hopping on board another contract job? I am taking the risk in hoping that the company will keep me after my contract is over. I even had a hard time sleeping after trying to make a decision. As much as I prefer a stable, full time position, I had to go with my second option. I’d be a total idiot if I declined the offer. This experience in moving out here has been about taking risks, so why not?

My job is just 10-15 minute drive to work, so the commute is awesome and extremely convenient. I was hired along with 3 other designers. The company is in the process of rebuilding their design team. Currently with myself included there was 20 designers and the creative director is hoping to double that number eventually. So there is a chance I could be kept on board, but I don’t wanna get my hopes up. As for my first day it was awesome!! Since it was on St. Patrick’s Day they served corned beef for lunch. I have to say our cafeteria at work serves some pretty bomb food. My boss was nice and bought the  whole department lunch that day. We sat down together as a team, ate lunch and mingled. Everyone at this company is really nice and laid back. We joke around quite often which is nice. It isn’t such a stuffy environment. They believe in creating that family type of atmosphere at work especially during lunch so no one is left out but they are respectful of your privacy. So if you don’t want to eat lunch with us there’s definitely no hard feelings haha. Later that Monday evening, we went downstairs as a team and got some green beer since it was St. Patrick’s Day. That was my favorite part of the day haha.

The office itself is pretty awesome. Since we’re on the top floor, we have an outdoor patio where you can sit and do work or have lunch. We had lunch out there yesterday and it was pretty cool. There’s an amusement park nearby so we can see the roller coaster from the balcony haha. Apparently during the summer you can hear people screaming on the rides haha. Lots of free snacks and goodies at work, which is always awesome. The conference room is pretty awesome. There’s a white table which you can write on with dry erase markers haha. Apparently there’s several billiards tables in the other building. I am still anticipating the tour of that building!

Today we had a department meeting and we got to meet the new CEO. Really nice British dude. The company is in the process of rebranding so there’s a lot of exciting projects coming our way. As a designer it’s really a rewarding feeling to be on board of not only a brand new project, but to be a part of the company’s entire brand identity. There was definitely a lot of pressure placed on us today during the meeting, but I’m ready for the work and chaos lol. Pretty much we need to be sleeping and breathing the new brand guidelines, which is fine with me.

I love coming into work especially with such an amazing company. I love their esthetics and their high appreciation for their employees. I love my coworkers and to be working with such smart and talented designers. It’s very inspiring and motivating. I’m just really happy that I not only found a job again, but to be working with an amazing company and people. This moment makes me feel a lot happier and reassured in my decision in moving out to the west coast. 🙂

Update 2/20

I haven’t been in the mood to blog much lately. I feel like I have a lot to say, but I don’t even wanna bother writing it all out or if it’s even worth writing. Figured I’d just write a little update on myself and my thoughts.

Last week I started a new job out in Palo Alto, which is nice. It’s only a short term freelance position but it’s better than nothing. I’m not that happy at this job just because it’s been a bit unorganized and the work flow hasn’t been consistent. I love the work this company does since they are an ad agency and my coworkers are great. I’m just awaiting for this position to end so I can move onto something better. To be honest, I think it was pointless for them to even hire me. I haven’t really done shit. There was probably one day last week where I was hopping back and forth from two desktops since I was working on different projects. These past two days I’ve been working from home since my coworker whom I’m working close with is sick. So it was best to work from home and communicate via e-mail and Skype. The total estimated time that I’ve worked both days is 5-6 hours. So sad. In the beginning I was told there was a lot that needed to get done and I was really excited to jump on board. Clearly not since I’ve just been lingering around haha. But hey it’s better than nothing since I’ve been trying to look at the brighter side of it. Some money in the bank and experience on my resume. Things could be worse.

I’ve started running again. I’ve been going to Communications Hill at night to run. I haven’t gone there in awhile and I feel safer running around there at night since there is a good amount of people getting their sweat on so late. I’ve kinda grown a distaste for running around my neighborhood especially at the trail/park next to my house. It’s just dirty and I get kinda paranoid that someone is behind me even though I go there during the day time. Running or working out is my much preferred hours to do my thing. I feel really relaxed when I get home and before I go to bed so it works out. It’s definitely been really tough trying to build up my stamina again to where it used to be. Every time after I run I feel like my legs are on fire lol. It can be a good or a bad feeling. I’ll eventually get used to it. I’m trying my best to be as consistent as I can.

I’ve hesitated buying a gym membership here in Cali because it’s so expensive. I am used to paying $10 a month. I was definitely so spoiled back in the east coast. Luckily on Groupon I saw that Bally’s had a deal for $10 for one month membership. I couldn’t pass up on that offer. San Jose has like 3 or 4 locations that I can select to go to. Sounded like a good idea until I read the Yelp reviews for each location lol. Apparently they all suck. There’s something bad with each location so now I’m a bit torn as to which location to dedicate myself to. I really hope it’s not as shitty as the reviews are. I am quite skeptical about it.

Valentine’s Day was nothing spectacular to me this year. In fact it never was besides last year when I made a pretty cool card for someone special. Usually every year for Valentine’s Day I “surprise” my mom with a different bouquet of flowers. I pick out the flowers and arrange it all myself. I never wanna give my mom the typical red roses. Gotta keep her guessing haha. Since I’m far away this year and it’s ridiculously expensive for me to send flowers to my mom, I decided to ask my dad to help me out. He is not sentimental whatsoever. He’s never bought my mom flowers ever which is kinda sad. I think every woman deserves a nice bouquet of flowers from a man at some point in her life. I asked my dad to just go to the local florists and pick out something nice for her. He was being a pain in the ass and wanted me to call the store and just tell them to arrange whatever so he can just pick it up. I said no and told him he HAD to pick out the flowers himself lol. I had a feeling he was gonna disappoint me and not go through with such a simple request, but he surprised me. I called the next day and asked if he did what I told him and he said yes. I still thought he was full of shit so I had to call my mom to confirm lol. Of course she told him (and myself in the past) that he didn’t have to get them or waste money like that, but she loved it anyways. That made me really happy where I was gonna get teary lol. I miss doing sentimental things like that for my family and friends back at home.

Lastly, sleeping has been a pain in the ass. I’ve been trying so hard to sleep early and I’ve continued to wake up multiple times in the middle of the night. The other night I went to bed early at 9:30PM, randomly woke up at midnight and after that I was up until 4AM. From there I woke up every hour until I was suppose to get up for work. I felt like complete shit that day. I was actually happy it wasn’t too busy because my mind felt like complete mush. I’ve stopped resorting to melatonin and these other sleep aids. I’ve thought about buying lavender scented pillow mist but I’m not sure how effective it is especially since melatonin couldn’t even knock me out haha. You’d think after working out it would help me sleep but that doesn’t work either. Sighs!!

I guess that’s all I’ve been up to. Work and working out haha. Nothing exciting here but that’s okay. 🙂

Random Thoughts

I’m too exhausted to write a full entry so here’s a quick break down for what’s been on my mind:

– Extremely burnt out from the new job. Still new to the job, but my family and friends see how exhausted I am when we Skype. Tonight will be the first time where I can go to sleep early. Rewarded myself with a glass of wine when I got home from the cafe. That was definitely much needed.

– Need to get back into running again. I hate that I haven’t been as active and I need to chill out with the caffeine intake!

– This damn job is throwing off quite a few of my daily routines. Need to prioritize better!

– Today was the first time I didn’t go to temple. I generally go everyday. Oddly I felt guilty for not going.

– I had my parent’s help me translate my fortune that I had received from temple the other day. Possible full blog entry about that next time. My mind is still fixated on my fortune though.

– It’s refreshing to get compliments and to be acknowledged. It’s a nice change. Quite smitten.

– Yay the Red Sox won the World Series!! Moments like this makes me homesick. Really wish I was back at home to celebrate this moment.

Well that is it for now. Good night everyone!


It’s been about a week since I’ve started my new job and let me tell you, it’s kicking my ass real hard. I’m consuming a ton of caffeine and generally I’m not much of a coffee drinker, but it’s practically my life saver. My work load is piling up and the stress is building up as well. I am beyond overwhelmed. I try my best to give myself much needed breaks and to stay calm. I’ve worked like this in the past but it has been awhile due to my unemployment. I’m back to running on very little sleep. I feel like half of my mind is asleep while the other side is thinking about my projects I need to get done. This is exactly how I felt with my last job, but it didn’t bother me. I just need to get use to the swing of things. I was pretty close to freaking out a bit and tried to hit up people to grab a quick drink, but pretty hard once again since I hardly have friends here. Times like this I wish I was back at home because there’s always someone down to grab a quick drink during times like these.

I’ve realized how insane my boss is. Sweet woman, but man it’s 9:30 PM on a Monday night and you’re now calling me for a conference call. I’ve never had a boss like her before that’s gonna call me this late. I guess she needs to do whatever it takes to get the job done. I’m back to dealing with ridiculously insane deadlines and lots of projects.

Not saying I hate my job, but just need to quickly vent. I love my job and this is what I have to deal with. I’ve said to friends that I’m already turning into a zombie due to the lack of sleep. I’ve been running on 2-3 hours of sleep and consuming 6-8 cups of coffee everyday. I need to definitely manage all this better.