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John LegendCaught Up

“I wanna get caught up in your love tonight. You can help me just breathe, breathe…”

I just downloaded the new John Legend album, which I’ve been slacking on. Finally had the chance to browse through the album and I love it. I usually like a lot of his songs. Anyways, this one song (obviously the one I posted) has caught my attention the most. It’s been on repeat ever since I first heard it and it’s pretty much getting jam killed haha. Not only is it a catchy song, but there was just something about it. The way John Legend sings it just reminds me of those feelings. Usually most songs that we listen to we either like it because it just sounds good or we’ve associated it with a person or a particular moment.

For me this song doesn’t necessarily remind me of one specific person. It just reminds me of the moments where my feelings grew for a guy and the feelings were mutual. You know that level you reach when you like someone, but there’s something much more special that has developed. It’s where you possibly think to yourself, “damn I really like him a lot.” I remember how exciting and sweet it all felt to be built up to that point. It made me feel so special to share that mutual feeling with a guy. Although the guys I’ve dated in the past are all semi different and how they pursued me, they got me to that point that any girl wants to reach with someone they like. The thought of him makes your heart heavy and comforting at the same time. He’s constantly on your mind no matter how hard you try to redirect your focus. You find yourself taking deep breaths with every thought of him and how strong the emotions are gradually getting. All it even takes is the little things that reminds you of him and how easy something so small could make you smile.

I guess I just miss having someone taking my breath away as corny as that sounds. I miss everything about what those feelings entails. It was just more than sharing the mutual fondness for each other. It was that connection that really made us click. I miss that the most. I haven’t clicked with someone new in awhile. I’m generally one that gets along well with others since I’m pretty easy going, but it takes a lot for me to open up and get on that next level. It’d be great to meet a potential significant other and to share that bond, but the reality is I’m just not ready. Not just yet. I know deep down how lonely I feel, but I’m not desperate to just put myself out there to anyone. I still need some more time. I’m happy for my friends that have found their significant others. I wish I could have something just as special like them.

One day I’ll get caught up again…

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“What’s done in the dark will come to the light.”

Here’s another beautiful view that I discovered here in San Jose from my friend’s brother. It’s conveniently located near my place, which is even better! I first came here almost 2 weeks ago. My friend showed me the way and I drove. It was a scary drive up for me because I’m scared of heights and the road was pretty narrow and curvy. Luckily I had brought my DSLR with me to take advantage of a great photo opportunity. It was pitch black out and there were a few other people there just hanging out. I loved every minute being up there. That calmness came back to me, yet a part of me felt so sad and lonely as I admired the view. It’s definitely a place to go on a date or to just come here and chill. Anyways, I came back again last night with my friend and I felt even more sadness. I wish at that moment I had someone to hug me or to hold my hand and comfort me. I did get a bit teary eyed. As I looked out at the view, sat in that darkness amongst the star lit sky and glowing city lights, I felt my heart slowly sinking. I saw more than just the stars and city lights that night. I saw no progress in my life and how truly alone I felt. Details of that can be saved for another post, but I wish I was able to share this moment with my family and friends back at home. I’d definitely like to share this place with someone special some day. There’s something very intimate about this place that I love and feel like you just can’t bring anyone here with you. Well you can but that’s just my opinion at least haha.

“Maybe someday we will be two people meeting again for the first time.” Lets lay next to each other and enjoy each other’s company while it lasts. Eyes closed with our bodies intertwined together and feeling each other’s warmth. Laying my head on your chest and for once feeling at peace with everything because that’s all it had to take. Taking in every second and making it all worth while. Nothing needs to be said because the silence is already enough said.

New Heights – Someday

“I’ll get to your heart… I’ve wanted you and only you…”