I feel like a total vegetable. I literally don’t want to do anything. I just want to stay in bed and sleep all day. I’m trying to pull myself out of this vegging out phase that I’m in right now. I’ve slacked off completely with the routine that I’ve formed and of course once you’re off track it’s hard to get back on track. Trying to kick my own ass to get some work related things done but a part of me is still so discouraged from even making any effort. Today my body just got the shit kicked out of. My physical therapist pushed me pretty hard today and I told her I hate her haha. After physical therapy, I had my medical procedure done today so I need to rest. For now I keep telling myself, “I’ll do it tomorrow”…uh yeah…
Despite my routine with other things, I had my workout routine locked down well before my trip to Boston. I was working out 5 days a week and I felt like my body was getting stronger as I was building up my endurance. I started eating like crap during my visit home and ugh, the struggle to eat clean again is real. I definitely couldn’t resist mom’s home cooking either! Today when I got the mail I received my friend’s wedding invite. Prior to receiving this, I wanted to get in much better shape for her upcoming summer wedding and of course for myself. I started browsing at dresses online as to what I wanted to potentially wear. While browsing I realized, “GET IT TOGETHER GIRL!”. I was physically feeling good before and now I feel like a blob.
Guess I gotta hit the gym next week. Ugh……………… 😦
I barely cook any meat and at most it’ll be fish. Lately I’ve noticed that when I do have chicken or beef, I get nauseous. I’ve steered away from eating beef since I noticed it had made me feeling nauseous over the years. Now I feel like I’m going to toss my cookies after tasting any meat. Maybe I’ve just gotten used to not eating meat besides fish. I don’t know, but it made me think if I should go vegan or not. Wouldn’t hurt to give it a go for a month. Reality is I love fish too much. If I could eat sushi everyday, that would be awesome but I’m not trying to die from mercury poisoning and I’m not ballin’ like that haha. Giving up fish would be hard, although the Pescetarian route seems to a better route. The path to go vegan is something that I’m really considering as a good challenge though. We shall see.
With starting a new job, I’ve been able to focus a bit more on myself again. I haven’t really been taking care of myself. Definitely gained weight from the stress that I’ve dealt with at my last job. Plus as much as I enjoyed working in SF and being spoiled by the yummy food trucks, that contributed to the weight gain as well. My sciatica is still lingering around, but I feel like I’m getting better. I was going to acupuncture since late October and then I started going to the chiropractor along with acupuncture since March because I noticed that I felt like total shit. I remember one day I suddenly had a hard time walking and it reminded me of how this whole shit show started. I was in a ton of pain and could barely walk. Even laying down I felt like shit. Since then things has gotten better, but I’ve decided to stop going to acupuncture. Just going to stick with the chiropractor for now and see how things go. Maybe I’ll incorporate acupuncture in the future again, but with all of these medical bills it’s been contributing to the stress weight too.
The last time I worked out was maybe back in April or May, so it’s been awhile. I got myself into a good routine and took it easy since I didn’t want to make the sciatica worst. Unfortunately the shit I was dealing with at work conquered over everything and I was in a dark hole. I didn’t want to do anything because I was so unhappy. I was overworked and just couldn’t really make time to do things for myself because all I wanted to do after work was to get any sleep possible. Now as I’m finding my way back into the light, I really need to work out again. I have to admit that I’ve gotten a bit self conscious with my body. I swear that crazy bitch really tore me down and I’m not as physically confident about myself anymore.
With this new job it’s been A LOT easier to eat healthy again, although it didn’t help to look at the keg of beers in front of me while I was munching on them greens. I’m back to strictly salads for lunch since my options are quite limited, but my company has a really good salad bar so I don’t mind. Food at these tech companies aren’t bad, but I miss WALKING OUTSIDE to get my lunch. Damn you SF food for spoiling me! The gym at the company is just down the hall so I really have no excuse to not go, even though I already have a gym membership. I remember at a previous job that’s down the street from where I currently work, I would go to the gym at the company after work since it was a good way to kill time and to not be stuck in traffic. At that time I was working out 3-5 times a week and my landlord has noticed that I lost weight. Perhaps it is better that I’m back working in Silicon Valley again.
Considering on biking and yoga as a part of my new gym regiment since my left leg still isn’t functioning 100%.
Besides my recent depressing posts, I’ll update with a much more uplifting post haha. Work has been great. I am definitely in a great place right now. I love my job even more than I did already. My company is awesome. It’s definitely my ideal work environment. I love the culture of the company and how well they appreciate their employees. Lots of great perks here at this company and I work with such an amazing team of people. I’ve gotten closer with 2 of my coworkers that I started with so it’s nice to have girls that are close to my age to hang out with and to talk about anything. We recently discovered that there’s a gym at my company so we go to the gym together after work, which is great and motivating for each other. Later today we’re going to yoga since they apparently offer yoga classes at my company twice a week. Might as well take advantage of it all while I can! Also, they service breakfast at work which is really convenient. They have a yogurt bar where you can add fresh fruit and other toppings to it. It’s really good. I wish I could just live at my company since they practically have everything I need haha. :p
Last week my boss gave us an optional task of creating a t-shirt design for our upcoming event in LA. The goal was to great a t-shirt celebrating our company’s anniversary. You can design the t-shirt however you want as long as it represents how old the company is which is 25 years old. It can’t be too feminine, but it should be a bit more masculine yet also likable enough for it to be unisex. The t-shirts will be printed on American Apparel t-shirts and will be sold at our event, which exciting. The winner will get a $100 or $200 Amazon gift card which is awesome. I’m still not sure how much but better than nothing! Yesterday my team voted on the designs that my other boss, my coworker and myself did. I had 3 designs to show and was kinda nervous to see if my design was as up to par as theirs. I was up against a senior designer and an entry level designer, but you never know what design styles they have or how good they are at any level. I thought here’s my chance to really show how strong of a designer I am so I had to take advantage of it. The team didn’t know who’s designs were who. It was interesting to see who was voting for which design and their reaction and comments about the designs. So far it looks like I kicked everyone’s ass unanimously lol. That definitely boosted my confidence as a designer and I was really happy. Plus, I never win anything so something like that gets me so happy haha. I’m still awaiting on the final decision, but it’d be really cool if I won. 🙂
Here’s my t-shirt designs. It’s not the final designs since they still need to be cleaned up and tweaked before final submissions if one of them is selected. The second design was the favorited one:
Besides updates about work and working out, I just feel a lot happier. Of course I’ll have my days where I feel a little down, but I can’t be all jolly everyday haha. When I video chat with my friends from home, they see me happy again, which is a relief to them. I do catch myself being sad sometimes, but I really try my best not to dwell on it so much. I’m still really hurt, but I’m too busy to focus on that. I’m doing great things with my life right now and I can’t stop for look back at the past. I work in a very happy and positive environment which has definitely lifted my mood. I’ve met some interesting people recently and we’ll see how it goes. I just feel like I’m slowly yet finally getting it together. It’s a great feeling and I haven’t felt like this in awhile. I’d like to make more time to go to SF on the weekends since work practically drains me. I’ve been looking up concerts to go to. My travel plans might be put on hold, but that’s okay. That’s still up in the air. For now I enjoy spending my weekends reading at a cafe, going to temple and working out. The Pescatarian thing has been going well. There has been a couple of moments where I had chicken, but no biggie. I’ve been eating a lot of sashimi for dinner recently. Need to chill out with that because I’m definitely not a baller haha, but it’s sooo good!
I’m okay again. 🙂
Who needs the stars when you have a view of the beautiful city lights? I’ve heard many great things about Communications Hill and how it’s a great place to workout (run, walk or jog). I was told how it had a great view of San Jose especially at night and I’ve been curious to check it out. I went yesterday afternoon after I figured it was just a neighborhood and not a legit park haha. The view was great during the day but not as empowering like it was at night. It’s a really beautiful neighborhood, too.
Anyways, I came back at night to take a couple photos. I didn’t realized how many people were out so late working out, which made it feel a bit reassuring to go at night for a run around there. I haven’t felt the need to join a local gym around here because it’s relatively nice outside everyday so why not take advantage of the outdoors? I’ve pretty much been running around my neighborhood and the park/trail nearby my place, but it’s nothing spectacular.
It was so beautiful even as I was driving up the hill to park my car. It’s been awhile since I felt so relaxed and calm in my life again. Due to my current situation, i am stressed out and overly worried on a daily basis. It’s hard to relax. Shit, it’s been even more difficult than ever to sleep because of my personal issues. My insomnia has gotten a lot worst and my health hasn’t been that great, which causes me to stress out even more. With all the minor and major issues, I really felt at peace again with myself when I came here and I’m glad I finally ventured out. Hopefully I’ll have better photos to share next time. I’m definitely looking forward to my workout here tonight. 🙂