I have to admit that being back on the unemployed club is definitely not fun. Whoever said it was? I’ve been trying my best to stay positive and to treat job searching as a full time job itself. Even though this unemployment is still quite fresh, I’m gradually panicking and worrying. I’m really trying to keep my cool and to relax. Everything will be okay. Due to a recent incident back at home, it’s kinda thrown me off track of this path of optimism. Seriously, can’t catch a break especially in the new year. It’s definitely gotten harder for me to sleep again. I’m literally in bed at 10PM and rolling around bed until 2 or 3AM and waking up at 7AM. I’m just very restless.
When I can’t sleep I spend my time job searching away or reworking my resume or website. I don’t waste any time at all. All gadgets (MacBook Pro, iPad mini, iPhone…can you tell I’m an Apple fan girl? haha) and notebook is all on deck if I need to hop onto any of those platforms to search for something or to quickly write something down. I got a lot of up and coming projects to work on. It’s quite a work load on my plate but I need to do it to better myself for my own sake as a designer. As excited as I am about these projects, I can’t tackle on too much at the same time or else I won’t get shit done. Tonight I had a great idea for a design website to develop, but I think it’s best I try to get a good night’s rest before I jump into anything. I was borderline close to purchasing a domain. It’s been an idea that I wasn’t sure how to go further with it, but tonight it just came to me. Once again, I need to let these ideas marinate in my mind for a bit and to start my day fresh tomorrow so I can organize my ideas and thoughts thoroughly. I guess I’m just excited to get some projects started. Here’s my “free” time that I need to take advantage of while it lasts. You know you love your career if you catch yourself thinking about it while off the clock. This is what I’m passionate about and what I’m willing to do to get myself to where I need to be. With the issues back at home, it’s raised my level of determination and drive for not only myself, but for my family as well.
Anyways, I really do think too much at night whether it’s about my career or something else, but at least my mind is wandering towards a positive path. Hopefully I can fall asleep soon!!
I’ve whined enough about work in my recent posts. After many sleepless nights and mid-day meltdowns, I just stopped doing my work. I pretty much just said “FUCK THIS!” lol. This past week I’ve slacked off big time. I am disappointed in myself for being this way and I’ve never ever been like this when it comes to work. But I grew so sick of this shit. So I started job searching again this past week. I was more motivated to leave my current position and look for another opportunity, even if it’s short term. Within the past week, things turned around quickly. Great news is I got hired for a short term freelance position. I pretty much got hired right on the spot prior to my interview. The woman that interviewed me really enjoyed my work and gave me many compliments. I felt a lot of confidence again as a designer since my current employer has been quite discouraging. I got to meet the current designer that is leaving and he’s a cool guy. We exchanged business cards and I got to meet a couple of my prospective coworkers. Pretty much a total sausage fest at my new job lol. I’m looking forward to being in an office environment and just to be able to interact with my coworkers ..that isn’t through Skype, phone calls or e-mails. I’m really excited.
So am I gonna quit my current job before I start the new one? Nope. As much as I dislike my company and my boss, I am gonna bite my tongue a bit longer and just continue working. It’ll be a great opportunity to indulge myself in work. It’s what I wanted. I haven’t done much during my own personal time ever since I started working. Literally, I sleep, eat, breathe work non stop. I pretty much wake up and go to bed with my laptop next to me. It’s been refreshing to step away from doing any work on my laptop. I think I really needed that break. Will my new job conflict with the old? I hope not, but I will work around it. Pretty much gonna be doing work when I come home from work. That’s the plan. I’m confident in this decision and I am determined I will get projects completed for both jobs. It will be overwhelming but I’m doing whatever it’s gonna take to get myself back to the top again.
I find these opportunities in my career as a great way to stay busy. Since my social life has pretty much disintegrated since my move here, I just want to bury myself in work. I want to forget about the bad people and bad experiences I’ve come across since I’ve been here. I’m tired of my efforts with everything and everyone. I just want to forget about everything and everyone. I want to subside all of the loneliness I’ve been feeling. I want to work hard and rebuild the life I had back in Boston. That was my main goal for my move and I’m sticking to it. It’s just strictly business from here on out. The only socializing I’ll do is if I attend a networking event, and that’s that. I need to change and adapt. I’ve been surrounded by lazy and unambitious people here and I’d honestly rather be working like a mad woman than to let their laziness rub off onto me. It’s just very unattractive quality to me. Not to say I’m better than them in any way, but I’d also rather not associate myself with people that lack any motivation in life to better themselves whether it’s their career or personal growth. I am intrigued by very dedicated and passionate people. Unfortunately the people I’ve met here aren’t impressed by people like that. I’m just thankful that my parents and friends back at home are supportive and happy for me. It’s all I need.
After my successful interview, I had to head to San Francisco for a quick meeting. Driving into the city felt like home to me. I wasn’t around for too long, but I felt comforted by the atmosphere of the city. Therefore it’s another goal for me to possibly move closer to the city at a point. Well lets see if I’ll even want to stay in Cali for a long time. I know for sure that I have no intentions of staying here in SJ forever.
Anyways, I commend all work and no play! Embracing workaholic mode and just really not giving a fuck about anyone or anything anymore.
One of the many things I try to do to keep myself occupied is to attend any kind of design event, whether it’s a speaking engagement or a networking event. Anything to get the juices flowing, ya know? Two weeks ago I attended a GFDA event at UC Berkeley. I was pretty pumped to go since they were coming to Berkeley and San Francisco. I opted for the Berkeley location because it was free and wanted to check out that area since I’ve never been. I’ve always wanted to attend their lectures and luckily they were doing a U.S tour.
I came across their website about 3 years ago while just Google-ing “design inspiration” or something along those lines. I thought what they had was hilarious, yet pretty helpful. It’s funny that they’ve now implemented a “family friendly” version on their website lol. Sometimes we all need a good kick in the ass and the advice they had posted on there was helpful. They’ve developed a lot of advice over a period of time as their company grew. The advice can apply to everyone besides designers. I think what they’ve created was very inspiring and motivating.
They made 3 very important focal points at the end of the lecture, which was:
– Risk everything.
– Expect nothing.
– Prepare for anything.
I felt like I touched all those points. I took the risk in moving to California, with no job lined up. Pretty much said fuck it, packed my things, and left. I had no expectations for what was to happen for when I arrived. Now, I’m prepared to adapt to a lot of changes (skill wise that is) in my career. Not everyone necessarily has to do what I did, but sometimes you just gotta man up and make some bold moves in life. Not only did I leave the event with some small nifty goodies (GFDA friendship bracelet that says “GOOD FUCKING FRIENDS”, postcard, and a GFDA sticker which they ran out of 😦 ), but it definitely reassured myself as a designer and as a person in what goals I have in life. It was comforting to be surrounded by designers that were on the same boat as me and that can relate to my struggles in this field.
I have a lot of work on my plate and it’s time to get shit moving…fast. I’m in this process of rebranding everything about myself as a designer. It’s gonna be a total bitch to get a lot of this work started and to keep the flow going, but I’m excited.