I have to admit that I’ve been pretty worn out with work. With my recent travels to Colorado and coming back to attend networking events has been so draining on me. I guess I’m trying my hardest to keep this momentum going and to really make some kind of impactful change. While doing this it wears you down both mentally and physically. I’m constantly thinking and trying to figure out a strategy plan to help navigate both myself, my team and my new boss towards a path of success and for better collaboration.
Before my trip to Colorado, I was reading a lot of design leadership books. I wanted to figure out ways to help my team in any way that I can. I am not aspiring to be a design manager or anything in that sense. However I do aspire to be an influencer not only amongst my team, but within the design community as well. I literally read 3 design books in less than a month. I have a few more books to get through and they’ve been great reads. It’s made me feel more empowered and impactful than ever as corny as that may sound. I’m just trying to do the right thing not for myself but for others as well. It’s helped mold the way I’m seeing and thinking about things, which I am totally all for. While reading all of these books, I felt like these books understood the struggles that I was facing at my job, in my role and at the organization. I really felt alone on an island while my team and everyone else was on land elsewhere. It’s been a real struggle for me.
My trip to Colorado went well as it was my team’s first time meeting me in person and I had to opportunity to meet my new boss as there was a reorg announcement while I was in town. I was welcomed with open arms and I met with the right people that I needed to in order to help with my work. Besides attending lots of meetings and just meeting folks in general in that office, we had a great opportunity to go out to socialize after work. I got to chat with my new boss and let him know who I am as well as I where I stand in trying to help the team. He wanted to know me as a person but honestly, I’m really not that interesting haha. All I do is read a lot of books, go on photo adventures, impromptu solo travels, obsessed with RuPaul and RuPaul’s Drag Race, I’ll kick anyone’s ass in Street Fighter haha, etc. There really isn’t much to me but to some degree I hoped he had gotten a gist of who I am as a person. The same day that I was about to head to the airport to go back home, we had a final meeting with my new boss and team to discuss the recent changes. I let out a lot of my frustrations as to where my role currently is and how my previous boss had kinda left me with false promises. I literally was going to start crying because I was so angry but also speaking passionately lol. Anyways, I let them all know how I felt so unsupported for a long time and this trip had reassured me that I really do have people on my side. It was a great way to end my trip on that note.
Once returning back to Cali, I’ve been attending a few design events. They’re great networking opportunities and a great way to stay connected in the design community. I’ve connected with some cool people and hope to continue to keep the conversation going. Going to these events are reminders for me that I am not the only one facing the problems that I have, but how it’s also this ongoing battle. The stories and chatter shared by the panelists at these events has been so good. They’ve even provided more books recommendations which I’m thrilled to check out. I got to briefly chat with one of the speakers yesterday before heading home. She was the only female panelists and I thanked her for sharing her thoughts and how amazing she really is. I’m hoping to see her again soon at another event that her team will be hosting, so I definitely can’t wait.
Back to my boss and work…I do my usual routine of making breakfast and then sit down in front of my computer to go through emails. Most of them I delete but they’re just beyond pointless. However one email in particular stood out and it wasn’t because it was from my new boss. He wrote me a very reassuring email which said “Be patient and enjoy this slow time because things will start to come together quickly. You are not forgotten.”. The dust still needs to settle with all the recent organizational changes, but during this process it was just nice to hear from my own boss that I am not forgotten. I got so choked up and started crying. I’ve been on this solo charter for a long time and to have people on my side especially my boss feels good again, which what caused me to cry haha. I feel better to continue sticking around for what this ride has to offer.