Sick and Homesick

I’ve been sick this past week and it was pretty bad. My whole body was achey, I was nauseous, extremely congested, etc. Pretty much in physical hell. No bueno at all. Of course I can only fend for myself and don’t have anyone to help. I had dragged myself into the office the other day and my colleagues asked how I was feeling. The part that got to me was how they were saying I wouldn’t be able to take care of myself if I was sick all by myself. I just said to them that it’s really not that bad, but the stubborn part of me didn’t want to confess to them that during moments like this I wish I had help. Since being sick and like most parents knowing that you’re sick, they’ve been pretty worried about me. We video chat and call each other so I can update them on how I’m feeling. My parents will call throughout the day to make sure that I am well and I appreciate it. I’m getting better, but just need to get some rest. I wish I was able to have some homemade soup by my mom though.

Last month I had scheduled to have flowers sent to my mom for Valentine’s Day. Every year I send her a bouquet for Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day and her birthday, which is basically almost every 2 months. I don’t mind and I know she loves it, even though she curses me out for “wasting” money. Oh well. Today she received her flowers since I thought it’d be a nice way for her to kick off the weekend, even though she works literally every single day. My dad texted me a picture of her standing next to her bouquet. She looked so cute and the flowers looked nice. As I kept staring at the picture, I got really emotional. I really miss her (and my dad, too). I wish I could be back there to help her and take care of her. I think the biggest thing that got me emotional is knowing that I’ll be back home next month to take her to her follow up doctor’s appointment. It really freaks me the fuck out to go to these things with her and I’m sure she feels a million times worst than I do about going. I’m just glad that my job offers such amazing flexibility for me to go home when I want to be there for her during these visits to the doctor’s.

For now I really have to take better care of myself so I can take care of my mom when I go home. I’m just a cry baby right now that misses my parents terribly.

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