Return of R

R and I started talking back in April. He is a year younger than me and that’s usually not my cup of tea. I didn’t want to be such an ageist and gave him a chance. Based on our conversations, you can tell he was young and I started feeling iffy about him. As we got to know each other things were getting a bit better until…he pissed me off haha. I just felt like he was up to the hit it and quit it kinda shit with me and I wasn’t down with that. I’m just over fucking around and I don’t have the tolerance for that anymore. I said something to him about it and he just laughed it off, so I stopped talking to him. He continued texting me a few times and I would just ignore his messages. It became entertaining for me to see his pathetic text messages.

Now we’re in late July and R hit me up out of nowhere. We haven’t spoken since May. While I was at work I saw a text message from him asking me how my new job is. I ignored the message for 2 days because I didn’t care enough to reply. I told my close friend KH about R and she thinks I’m being mean. KH and I talked about R and I did some thinking. So yesterday after work when I got home, I replied to him. Of course he replied immediately after I had hit ‘send’.

We were catching up and it wasn’t so bad, but then we had a pretty open conversation. I really wanted to know what his intentions were for even hitting me up. I told him how I was a bit interested in him until he was behaving like an ass and I wasn’t going to have any of that bullshit. He apologized and said that wasn’t his intention. Blah blah blah. After our conversation he asked what did I want to do and where do we go from here. Honestly I felt a bit whatever, but I saw no harm in starting over with him. I wasn’t mad about what had happened between us in the past and holding a grudge against him. But it’s going to take a lot for me to be as interested as I used to be in him. I’m kinda glad to be starting fresh with him yet oddly enough I feel anxious and nervous. I’m scared that I’ll actually really like him and I’m scared of getting hurt and rejected.

I guess we’ll see how things go.


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