Let the random ramblings begin…
I’ve been going to acupuncture for my sciatica. It’s my first time ever doing this and I was terrified. Piercings and tattoos do not scare me, but anything medical related with needles I freak out. I get scared like a little kid and want someone to hold my hand. Pathetic I know. Turns out acupuncture doesn’t hurt, but I still get pretty nervous. Luckily I’ve been seeing improvements but still have to take it easy. It’s getting a little easier to get around, but I’m still in pain and discomfort. I’ve only been able to make it to my office once and I felt like total shit just driving into SF and getting around. My coworker even told me I looked like I was in pain. I didn’t get what she meant until I looked at myself in the mirror one morning. My eyes would get so red because of the pain I’m in. I was staying at home a lot and cabin fever was at it’s peak. It was extremely boring and staying at home that much didn’t help with the way I was feeling about a lot of things. I just found myself getting extremely paranoid and insecure about my health when I was staying at home a lot. I’m just glad there are improvements, but it still really stresses me out as to when I’ll fully be better again. It really sucks not being able to work out like I used to, but walking shall suffice. At least I can get out of the house and enjoy my book at a coffee shop again. However, getting in and out of my car really sucks.
I was happy that I was able to get out of the house for Halloween to go with my friend and her kid trick or treating in my neighborhood. I think trick or treating with them followed by dinner is our new little tradition. It’s cute and I enjoy it a lot. I would highly prefer doing this every year than to get dressed up and get drunk. I got the kiddo some candy when they came over and immediately he ate some of it haha. Since it was his 2nd Halloween, I think he kinda understood the gist of trick or treating this year. He was dressed as Tigger and it reminded me of my nephew’s costume when he was that little. Too cute. Last year he was kinda freaking out and we only made it to like 5-6 houses for 30 minutes, whereas this year we made it to a lot more houses and was out for an hour. Glad he went home with a lot more in his bucket this year.
By the way, shopping for children is hands down mad stressful and frustrating. I’ve been meaning to get my newborn niece a a gift along with my nephews, but haven’t been able to get around that. Finally mad a trip to the mall yesterday to get this done and out of the way. I already hate shopping and especially going to the mall. Luckily I was able to Amazon Prime my nephews toys, but I wanted to see in person what I wanted to get my niece since it was clothes. I had gone into 2 children’s clothing store and the moment I stepped into the first one, my mind was screaming “WTF!!!”. I was annoyed and just wanted to get out. The second store I went into there was a screaming and crying child. I just grabbed whatever I thought was cute real quick and got the fuck out. I had to call my mom afterwards to tell her about shopping for the kids and how I was gonna lose my mind haha. She laughed at me but said now I understand how she felt shopping for myself and my brother when we were little. My dislike for shopping has grown even more after dealing with this.
Anyways, I go home next week and I’m very excited. While dealing with all of this sciatica bullshit, it’s good timing for me to be back at home with my family and friends. I really need them the most right now. I feel more comfortable about going home since my sciatica is getting better since I generally walk around everywhere back home. I’ve been making plans with friends and I’m looking forward to catching up with them. I’ll be spending more time with my parents than my friends so the days that I will be available to see my friends are a little wonky since most of the days are weekdays. I really want to go to NY for the day when I’m back, but that requires a ton of walking and I don’t think I should push it if I don’t feel my best. So we’ll see. But definitely looking forward to my close friend’s Thanksgiving Pot Luck that she does every year. I really cannot wait!!
I had finally gotten a hair cut over the weekend. Really random, I know. As shitty as I was feeling, sometimes it’s the little yet random things that can uplift your mood a bit. Apparently a hair cut did that for me. I haven’t gone to a salon the past 2 years since I’ve lived in Cali. I’ve been cutting my own hair which isn’t hard at all since it’s simple trimmings and whatnot. Plus it’s been hard to find a good stylist at a reasonable price. Since my hair was getting extremely long and it’s the longest I’ve ever had it, I told myself that my own personal haircuts wasn’t cutting it anymore (no pun intended). I swear I was starting to look like the chick from the Grudge with my crazy long black hair. I found a salon nearby my place and it seemed legit. I was really nervous for someone else to cut my hair because generally when you tell them to cut a specific amount, they tend to cut off more than intended. So that’s sorta kinda what happened to me. When I saw the stylist cut off 3-4 inches I literally cringed haha. I said 2 inches woman! But nonetheless I really loved the outcome and I don’t look like a crazy person anymore.
As unhappy as I’ve been lately, I woke up in the middle of the night to pouring rain and it’s still raining as I’m in bed writing this blog. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to appreciate the sounds of rain as weird as it may sound. I understand how calming and relaxing it can be. Being alone and just unhappy I kinda fell into this funk and felt really miserable and stressed out about a lot of things. The more I was trying to do for myself while not feeling well, I found myself feeling low each day. Honestly I haven’t felt this relaxed and at ease in awhile. Lately I feel so useless being physically incapable of doing certain things and it’s just hard to pull yourself out of that. The thought of myself not being able to run yet alone jog makes me extremely unhappy and mad at myself. I’ve been blaming myself for so many things. For now I don’t feel like that since this rainy day is helping me relax. I think it’s only going to rain today, but if it rained every single day I will be so happy. It goes back to the little things and for me a rainy day is a good pick me up. It makes me enjoy working from home a lot more since it’s raining today.