Back Burner

I haven’t been in the best of spirits as mentioned in my latest posts. As I’ve been struggling to try to pull myself out of this funk, of course someone would have to piss me off. Lets start off with D. Been really giving him the benefit of the doubt and been extremely patient with him for so long, but I’m fed up and over it. I just feel like he wants something from me and that’s that. Motherfucker can’t even ask how my day is or anything. There’s only so many times I can repeat myself and tell you that shit is not cool. There’s also so many times where sorry can be said…over and over again. The apology is no longer sincere nor anywhere near meaningful. If you’re fucking sorry then don’t say stupid shit and have some respect for me. He apologized and I just ignored the text. I wasn’t going to have anymore of that shit. At this rate he’s lost all of his brownie points and I don’t care anymore.

Then comes J. Last night J texted me out of nowhere. Instant thought was should I ignore or reply. We haven’t seen each other in about a year nor have we spoken since possibly earlier this year. When I saw his text I thought he might be drunk and turns out my ass was right. We don’t hang out anymore for a particular reason but then again he also likes me. During the texting between us I found out that he’s been staying away from me. Okay, what the fuck did I do now?! I don’t need you to fucking text me hi yet you’re gonna keep your ass away from me. The fuck is your problem?! I told him he might as well delete my number since we don’t hang out nor keep in touch often and that it’s not cool to put me on the back burner like that. I was getting angry by the second especially with his weak replies. Motherfucker kept bugging the shit out of me texting me and started calling me several times. He texted me this morning apologizing for being a drunken idiot and I just ignored that shit. Alcohol is no excuse to act like an ass clown and learn how to hold your liquor dumb ass.

I don’t have the time for people to do that type of shit to me nor will I put up with it. I am gonna be a total bitch about it because IT”S MOTHERFUCKING RUDE! I’ve never ever done that to anyone because I have manners and I’m considerate of others. During the texting with J, for a slight second I got a bit upset realizing people like himself and D are putting me on the back burner. I’m only needed and wanted when they feel like it and it’s quite mean and hurtful. Not quite sure what the fuck I did to be treated like that but I know I didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t deserve to be treated like that and quite frankly no one does. I’m a nice girl minding my own business, so what the fuck do you want? Argh!!! Been in a bad mood dealing with Beavis and Butthead that I bailed on my plans today. I just wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone at all. All I wanted was some peace and quiet to myself.

Guys are assholes.


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