It’s never good to go to bed angry or upset, but tonight I am. I spoke to my mom tonight and we came across the discussion of how her recent visit to the doctor’s went. Long story short, she needs to start exercising. She was being stubborn and laughing it off while feeding me bullshit excuses. I started getting really mad after I tried to encourage her and tell her how important it is. But nothing I said mattered which really upset me the most. She even quickly hung up on the phone with me because she didn’t want to continue the conversation. I want the best for my mom or for anyone in my life. I know with old age comes health issues, but I don’t want her to deteriorate so quickly. That really breaks my heart and I wish she took this more seriously.

I’m sad and frustrated about my mom, but I’m really mad at myself. I’m mad that I’m so far away and can’t be there to take care of my parents. When moments like these occur, I go into a mode of where I just think so negatively about myself for moving here. I gave up everything for my career. I know I can’t be there for my family or friends like I used to and that upsets me even more. I love taking care of everyone around me and for them to be okay, even if I’m not. I used to put all of these people ahead of me while I put my life on pause because I want to help and protect everyone. It’s something that I need to learn how to balance and to overcome the guilt.

I just want my mom to be okay and to live as long as possible.


2 thoughts on “Concerned

  1. Why not appeal to your dad? I think if someone is stubborn about not exercising, it’s because it feels awful or they’re afraid to get injured. In the meantime, maybe you can compromise and ask her to stretch instead. That’s super important for older people and being flexible means being less prone to injuries. My mom is also super stubborn about her health and doesn’t really listen to me either.

  2. You can look after someone but you can’t make them do something. Even if you were there with your mom I think you could try to motivate her, but ultimately it’s her decision to make. I agree with happyobligations. Talk to someone close to her. It does help to hear it from others, although it needs to be gently suggested because then it could come off as she is being ganged up on. Good luck. You sound like you love your mom very much. Just don’t make yourself feel so guilty. You sound like you are doing good thing. You’ll also be able to help her more if you are kind to yourself.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s