Recently I’ve noticed how engaged I am in my work and anything related to my career. I am constantly trying to stimulate my mind with anything user experience design related. I love trying to absorb as much information that I can and sharing out things I find with my team. I am fascinated by the things that I find and with the more I find, the more I can’t help but to search for more. When I find articles or design resources during my own personal time, it doesn’t feel like a chore for me to do it. I haven’t felt this involved in my career…ever. It’s a very rewarding feeling. Not many of my friends can relate to how I feel. I feel most of my friends are at a fork in the road with their careers and it’s okay. It’s common for people to feel like that, but I’ve just never felt like that. I can’t relate to them when they vent about their jobs. When I listen to them I try to put myself in their shoes and compare their experience with mines and it really just can’t even compare. I do get stressed out from my job from time to time and that’s normal, too. Oddly it’s a good stress. I probably feel frustrated about trying to solve an issue or I’m stumped about it. Regardless of what the problem is I feel determined to figure it out. I like the challenge and it’s very motivating.
I love my work so much that it’s hard for me to stay away from it as stressful and exhausted that I can get. Sometimes I’m working on the weekends, which is fine with me. Something that my friends probably won’t understand is that this momentum I have happening with my career needs to continue for as long as it can. My situation with my job is unclear at this point. Despite whatever happens I have to continue moving and not be slowed down. It does freak me out since there is so much uncertainty. I don’t really talk about it amongst my friends since it’s a sensitive subject to me. I don’t want to answer their questions nor talk about it. It will only distract me from continuing to do the positive things with my work. I won’t allow myself to get lost and caught up in the negative aspects for what might happen in the near future. I can only stay as focused as I can. This moment in my life is extremely important to me. It took me a few years to build my career up to this point and I will not allow it to fall. It has always been more than just a job or a paycheck. It’s not even about that at all. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and worked for in my life that it’s become something so precious to me. When bad things happen in my career, I do get extremely sensitive and emotional about it. I’ve babied the shit out of it and if something goes wrong, I feel like I’m a bad “parent” to my “child”.
Like I’ve said to previous employers and even my current one, it’s great to be able to do something that I love for work and to get paid is just a bonus. I wish more people can adapt this mentality without getting so caught up in the salary and benefits. It’s very hard to come across people that are humble about their shit. I feel like that’s why some of my friends are unhappy with their jobs. I see how people try to mask their dislike for their jobs with traveling and whatnot. I’ve just never been like that. I think people need to really take advantage of the resources that’s out there and to further their knowledge whether it sparks an interest to them or not. There is just so much valuable knowledge out there and it’s a shame as well as a waste to not take advantage of it. So far I feel like my team can understand this mindset that I have for design. They’ve struggled and succeeded as they’ve progressed in their career. Not saying it’s only a designers “thing” to understand, but sometimes it feels like it. It’s nice to share the same passion with some likeminded folks though. I’ve just grown to be very disciplined in what I do and there’s nothing wrong with that.