Maybe Later

I’ve come to a realization that I’ve been holding a few things off rather than tackling it in a timely manner. It can range from errands and chores to impactful tasks. Obviously it’s not hard to cross off chores and errands off of my to do list. On the other hand, the impactful tasks is what I’ve been subconsciously avoiding.

What are these impactful tasks you ask? Starting new projects for my portfolio, taking better care of myself, dating, etc. I’ve been thinking here and there about what kind of project I’d like to add to my portfolio. I have quite a few ideas, but I need to settle on ONE. I’m not too worried about it, which is probably why I keep telling myself “maybe later”. It’s a bad habit to procrasinate on it. I need to start sketching and prototyping my work pretty soon. It’s just hard to get yourself in that work mode and to stay on track. I have a major project that I’m on at work but I need to better prioritize my work and personal projects.

Then comes my health. I’m slowly taking baby steps in trying to take better care of myself. My stress and sleep habits is something that I’m trying to get a better grip of. I’ve been taking my stress pretty seriously since I notice how bad it’s been affecting me. It’s actually really been scaring me but I try to meditate and relax as much as possible. A few weeks ago I purchased a Jawbone Up (fitness tracker) mainly to keep track of my sleepintg habits, so I can better understand what the fuck is wrong with me. I had lost my FitBit some time last year and had enjoyed wearing a fitness tracker. It was good to see when I was being active and not a lazy fuck. I’ve started detoxing since I was drinking a lot recently and eating junk due to friends visiting and after work outtings with colleagues. I’m also trying to get a better gym routine aligned with my schedule since I strongly hate the fact that when I get home from work I immediately shower and go to sleep. No bueno! Lets see how long that’s going to last. Plus, I have to get in shape for my close friend’s wedding since I’m a bridesmaid. Ugh!!

Lastly, dating. A topic I cringe at just thinking about it. I haven’t dated in quite awhile. I just got bored with the guys I met when I was last actively dating. None of them sparked any interest besides maybe one or two, but that didn’t go anywhere. I keep using work and time as an excuse. I just kept telling myself to stay on this track of working hard to progress in my career before I can get involved with anyone. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. But then again I can’t continue to be bothered when I see everyone else around me settling down. I’m terrified that I will be old and single. It freaks me out that I’m in my late 20’s and not in a serious relationship yet alone even dating. I think to some degree I’ve held off and put my career first as a way to protect myself from any disappointments and possibly a heartache. It’s been nice but maybe it’s about time I put the walls down. It scares me to have to be vulnerable and to put myself out there again.

Overall, I just need to stop holding off on a lot of things. It sets myself back a lot, which isn’t good. I feel if I don’t act soon on a few of these things soon, later may never come.


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