Ever since I came back from Boston, I’ve gotten much more quieter. I just don’t really want to talk to anyone nor do I really have anything to say. Maybe it’s my own way of coping with the loneliness. I just want to be in this silence until the year is over. I just want to sleep it off and wait until the new year arrives. I’m cringing as the days get closer to Christmas. I change the radio station as soon as I hear any Christmas song. I really hate the holidays, but my colleagues and friends from home has been very kind to me. I’ve received several offers from my colleagues for me to spend Christmas with them since they know I’ll be alone. I thanked them for their generosity, but to be surrounded by another’s family and friends will only make me feel worst knowing that I can’t spend time with my own family and friends. I’d rather be alone on that day and try not to think too much about it. I’m treating it like it’s any other day. It’s hard for me to really describe my emotions and thoughts of what’s been going on with me lately, but that’s okay. I’m not going to bother trying to explain it to anyone for them to understand. I just don’t want to be bothered. It’s as simple as that. I’ll eventually pull myself out of this emotional mess.