Currently on my flight home back to Boston. Only 3 hours and 45 minutes left until I touch down in Boston. It’s been a very hectic day …well week before I boarded this flight. Today I was literally all over the place and barely got any sleep. I’m sleepy eyed at the moment, but I don’t sleep well on flights. Anyways, when I arrived to the airport, checked in and waited at my gate to board my flight, I felt really sad and nervous. This all goes back to my recent post (Homebound Blues). I was already scared and whatnot, but now it’s really kicked in. I don’t know what to expect when I go back. The thought of seeing my parents and friends is making me feel so awkward and nervous. Don’t get me wrong I am excited to see them. It’s just been a long time coming. I just have very strong mixed feelings of this trip. For whatever reason I just feel like I shouldn’t even be on this flight going home. A part of me doesn’t feel ready. Is that so weird? Maybe I feel as if I have more to prove than just a job promotion. Despite my job promotion being the reason for me even visiting home, I feel like I don’t deserve to go visit home for 2-3 years. I sound crazy since I know I deserve it, yet at the same time I don’t. I don’t know. I’m just overthinking things. I should be happy and looking forward to seeing my loved ones. This is the moment I’ve been longing for the moment I got to Cali. I just find it really hard to believe that day is here.