Every woman wants to be chased by potentially the right guy. It’s flattering and exciting. As for me, I have extremely horrible luck with men. Not saying I can’t get a guy or anything. I’ve grown to be relatively selective in who I like over the years. I know what I like and what I want, but I also know that you can’t always get what you want. I’ve come to a realization that the type of men I attract are the ones I’m not attracted to and ones that are unavailable. It’s frustrating and exhausting. I hate having to give the speech as to why I’m not interested. Yes, I even have to give this stupid lecture to the unavailable men as well. So stupid…

Lets start off with the men that I’m not attracted to. It’s by no means about their physical appearance lets just put that one out there. Don’t get me wrong, I think we’re all shallow to some degree. I’ll admit that I’m a bit shallow but it’s probably a height qualification since I’m tall for an Asian girl. Anyways, I’m not attracted to them as they are attracted to me mainly because of their personality. Biggest deal breaker. I don’t care how good or bad you look, but if you’re boring as fuck or have no substance I won’t even look in your direction. By substance, I mean this person has to have goals, a career, passion, something that makes you stand out to me. We all seek for that spark in someone and that’s what I try to look for in everyone. The boring aspect is pretty self explanatory. If you can’t hold a conversation with me or anyone, don’t expect to hear from me again. Yes, it’s harsh but if I don’t want to date you and you’re that boring I don’t really want to be your friend. You have nothing on your plate to offer me but silence and maybe the ability to fall asleep faster.

Now onto the unavailable men. I hate this the most. I’ve noticed this reoccurring pattern of taken men that just want their slice of the cake, too. I am not that woman for you. I do not flirt with these men at all. I don’t dress provocatively nor do I treat them any different from my guy and even girl friends. I’ve been told I’m an easy person to talk to and I’m very laid back, but that’s not by any means a signal for “please get in my pants” or “I want you”. For any taken guy to even want to pursue anything with me while they’re still with their significant other is extremely disrespectful and disgusting. I feel disrespected to even be put in that position. I give the whole “hey, listen…” speech and make myself as crystal clear as possible. Of course these are stupid men so it goes in one ear and out the other. They tell me how attracted they are to me physically and personality wise. I don’t buy into any of it.

The more they tell me they want me, the more worthless I feel as a woman. I feel so misunderstood by these men. It’s annoying and frustrating. I’m tired of being looked at in a certain way by these taken men and just attracting the ones I don’t want. I’m honestly not doing anything to them. If I am, I’d rather it be someone that I’m relatively interested in. If they’re misunderstanding my kindness for something else then it’s not my fault. I’m nice to almost everyone but that’s because I’m polite and I have manners. Not to sound overly confident, but I don’t think I’m a bad catch at all yet I’m reeling in the ones that I don’t want at all. I have a lot to offer any man and I just haven’t met the one that’s really acknowledged my worth as woman. I work hard, independent, funny, sentimental, kind, honest, loyal, and etc. I don’t want to toot my own horn listing all of that, but are those type of qualities so bad that I can’t catch the right guy?

I’m just really tired of this. Deep down it creates a big scar the more this occurs. Like I mentioned, the more this happens, my worth as a woman decreases. Is there something wrong with me that I’m not seeing? What is it??? I just want to be genuinely loved, appreciated and respected…


3 thoughts on “Misunderstood

  1. i hear ya sista!! completely on point… we have to set the bar for what we really want/ deserve and not settle for anything less than magic– unfortunately it’s not easy to come by though, and timing is a bitch! loved the frankness, reminded me of myself. well written xo

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