First Earthquake Encounter

Before and after I moved to Cali, the thought of how I’d handle an earthquake kinda freaked me out. I really don’t know what to do if it happened. Coming from the east coast I know what to do if there’s a snowstorm, hurricane, tornado, etc. An earthquake is something I never learned how to “prep” for. I always joked around with friends saying that when that moment does happen I’ll probably freak out and cry haha, but apparently I didn’t. Well sort of.

I was having trouble sleeping per usual. I decided to take some melatonin to help me sleep and I went to bed early, too. Throughout the night I woke up here and there. Clearly the melatonin didn’t work but I felt a bit blah from it. I remember waking up at around 4AM and my bed was moving. I was sleeping on my side and felt my body lightly swaying back and forth. I was in a daze and felt confused yet scared. I thought it was a dream and still feel a bit groggy from the melatonin, so I tried my hardest to fall back asleep and disregarded the movement in the room.

I woke up this morning to a few text messages from friends back at home asking if I was okay and had mentioned they heard there was an earthquake that occurred near me. I was like “fuckkkk…that shit was an earthquake?!!”. So I wasn’t dreaming after all haha. I replied with letting them know that I was okay and I really appreciated how concerned they were. My mind has been kind of mind boggled all day thinking about the earthquake and how much damage it did to Napa. Luckily it didn’t get too serious here in San Jose. Can’t believe I just fell back asleep like nothing happened haha. I’m just really glad I’m safe.

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Love My Job

This week has been the best week ever at work. It wasn’t the fact that I literally drank everyday with my colleagues and my boss, but to see my team coming together and whatnot. One of my colleagues who works remotely from NY came to our SF office this week. It was great meeting him since he was just this voice on this phone to me haha. I was excited to meet him and hope that our team was gonna hang out and really get to know each other but that was a total fail. I was the only one in the team that was down to take him out. It was fun though. We hung out at work for a bit and hand some beer there in this “decompression room”, which has a ping pong table, tv, and a big keg lol. That was the room we went into everyday after 4 or 5pm. Soon we left work and he introduced me to an old employee that used to be on my team. It was interesting to hear their conversations of how things were like prior to me coming on board. After all the talk about work, we got down to having fun and went bar hopping in SF. I didn’t get home until 3AM on a Tuesday night. I felt like crap the next day and exhausted driving back and forth from SJ to SF. Luckily I don’t have a fixed schedule and can come and go as I please. Stayed out late again the next day and enjoyed an amazing dinner at this Argentinian steak house in SF. I’ll have to write a separate post on it. Hands down best dinner I’ve ever had. Over dinner we each shared our design process, skills and stories. It was just awesome to have these kind of discussions.

Before dinner that Wednesday night, my boss, colleague and myself went down the street to this really cool bar nearby our office. I got to meet my boss’ old colleagues which was amazing. They all worked for the same agency and have moved onto other amazing opportunities. I got to meet the designer that works for FitBit and I have one, so we got down to an awesome discussion about the design and got the scoop of things that are gonna be happening. I loved it. Next, I got to meet a project manager that works at Samsung, met a guy who’s wife is the creative director for Air BnB, and another designer who was a part of the team that designed Beats headphones. There were lots more. I was at a bar filled with so much intelligence and talent. I absorbed every ounce of their inspiring skills and stories. I felt like that moment meeting all these people and even my colleague that works remotely, I felt so much growth in my career. As corny as I’m gonna sound it really was an honor to be around these designers. I would love to be in their shoes one day and be able to say I was a part of whatever team to build XYZ product. It’s just an awesome and rewarding feeling. Aside from meeting great designers, I got to finally really chat with my boss. I discussed of what needed to be done for our team for us to be much more unified besides collaborating on projects. During our discussion, he told me how happy he is to have me on the team and whatnot. I felt truly appreciated and respected, which really boosted my confidence as a designer. I know I’m a good designer, but I’m playing in a different field that I’ve never been in before which is a new and exciting challenge for me to take on. These are the moments in my career that makes me love my job even more.

I see lots of amazing things happening for my team since there won’t be any more folks coming on board. We’re building this team from the ground up and I have hope that with the amount of amazing talent we have, we’re gonna make shit really happen. I learned from another colleague of mines that he is a writer, too. He’s a very intelligent man that has a ton of experience. I felt very enlightened by him when he told me about how he argued with this really popular software designer (Alan Cooper) that he used to work for. Not many people can say things like that. But here’s an article that he usually writes for UX Magazine: click here. Yesterday, I just got brought on board into this huge project and I am one of the main visual designers working with 3-4 interaction designers. That’s a lot of pressure, but I know I can do it. It’s pretty awesome that practically everyone on the team has their hands in this project. It’s gonna be an interesting process since this will be the very first time where ALL of us are collaborating together. I’m ready for the craziness. 🙂

Best Mistake

SoMoBest Mistake

How soon do we forget how we felt
Dealing with emotions that never left
Playing with the hand that we were dealt, in this game
Maybe I’m the sinner, and you’re the saint
Got to stop pretending what we ain’t
Why we pointing fingers anyway? We’re the same

Break up, make up
Total waste of time
Can we please make up our minds?
And stop acting like we’re blind
Cause if the water dries up
And the moon stops shining
Stars fall, and the world goes blind
Girl you know, I’ll be savin’ my love for you, for you

‘Cause you’re the best mistake I’ve ever made
But we hold on, hold on
There’s no pot of gold in the rainbows we chase
But we hold on, hold on

I guess times wasting, tick tocking lip locking
I’m clocking these moments you’re watching, your options, no talking
Your temperature’s dropping, I’m scared there’s no stopping
The scar tissue built on your heart

And I know I fucked up a million times in the past
You know it’s hard for me and I’m just lying in the grass
The grass is green on both sides
Just screaming at me that I won’t try

Well I’m saying that a dreamer dreams that most them go die for
I don’t need that though
Want you and nothing more

The best mistake I ever made I’m singing out to you
So take my hand and run away with me
The only thing I’ll ever need
I’ll ever need…Oooh

Break up, make up
Total waste of time
Can we please make up our minds?
And stop acting like we’re blind
‘Cause if the water dries up
And the moon stops shining
Stars fall, and the world goes blind
Girl you know I’ll be savin’ my love for you

Nothing

It feels like it’s been a long, chaotic dream this past week. I think I’ve finally snapped myself out of it. There’s truly nothing that I can do anymore to fix it or to make things better. I’ve officially exhausted myself and I have no luck in finding the solution to “this”. Maybe there was never anything to fix and things were so broken from the beginning that neither one of us could do anything about it. Maybe this entire time I fought so hard because I wanted to feel something and I didn’t want to lose this feeling. Maybe we were meant to cross each others path but weren’t meant to be together. I’ve never stood so firmly for anyone but him. It hurts because I put my pride and everything else aside for this stranger. We all have standards, but sometimes you adjust those standards according to who this person is and maybe you even toss out those standards for this person. I’ve continued going about my life the way I have, but he always came to mind regardless of what I was up to. He was so hard to shake off and it’s not like I never tried to forget him. Reality is we can never be in each others lives as much as I want it to happen. I have no place in his life since he’s managed to go about his life perfectly fine without me. Why make a bold statement and can’t explain yourself? It’s very misleading. I’ve kept it to myself because I didn’t know how to react or what the right words I could say to respond. But none of it mattered since it was something you apparently can’t recall at all.

I thought to myself that crying it all out and having some soju with a girlfriend was gonna cure it all, but it was just a temporary fix. I woke up at 5AM and sat on the edge of my bed thinking it’s finally over and I feel okay again. I sat in the morning silence feeling like there was some kind of clarity. I was gonna make today a good day. Got myself breakfast to get rid of the remnants of soju that was still there. I tried to sleep it off and hoping to wake up to feeling better so I could go about my day. Nope. I’m still going to go about my day, but I just feel so heartbroken. I know it’s not the end of the world, but I wish for all this pain to go away instantly.

I’m a foolish woman that’s been fighting for a selfish man. I don’t regret at all fighting for him, but for him I was never worth fighting for. The more efforts I made or words I said, it pushed him further away from me. Maybe there was something there or something is still there, but unfortunately nothing can ever happen.

Talking to the Moon

Bruno MarsTalking to the Moon

I know you’re somewhere out there
Somewhere far away
I want you back
I want you back
My neighbors think I’m crazy
But they don’t understand
You’re all I had
You’re all I had

At night when the stars light up my room
I sit by myself talking to the moon.
Trying to get to you
In hopes you’re on the other side talking to me too.
Or am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon?

Ohoooo…

I’m feeling like I’m famous
The talk of the town
They say I’ve gone mad
Yeah, I’ve gone mad
But they don’t know what I know
Cause when the sun goes down
Someone’s talking back
Yeah, they’re talking back
Ohhh

At night when the stars light up my room
I sit by myself talking to the moon.
Trying to get to you
In hopes you’re on the other side talking to me too.
Or am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon?

Ahh… Ahh… Ahh…
Do you ever hear me calling?
(Ahh… Ahh… Ahh…)
Oh ohh oh oh ohhh
‘Cause every night I’m talking to the moon

Still trying to get to you
In hopes you’re on the other side talking to me too
Or am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon?

Ohoooo…

I know you’re somewhere out there
Somewhere far away

Lunatic

IMG_3346.JPG
Just got out of the gym and decided to sit outside on the sidewalk again tonight to admire the moon before I get ready for bed. It’s been the third night in a row where I’ve sat out here staring at the moon aimlessly thinking to myself about everything. Kinda in hopes the moon will provide answers for my problems but most likely not. My coworker today told me not to stare at the moon for too long or I’ll become a lunatic haha. So corny. Perhaps this is now a newfound nightly routine since seems to be the only thing calming me.

There’s something about that midnight sun. Anyways, time to get ready for bed before I really turn into a lunatic. :p

Super Moon

 

All week I kept hearing about Super Moon. I didn’t get a chance to see the Blood Moon last time. Since I got most of my errands and chores done for the day, I figured I’ll try to catch a glimpse of it up at Sierra Point with my DSLR. When it finally got dark, I grabbed my camera and keys and was ready to go. The moment I stepped outside, I saw it from my front door steps. I was glad I didn’t have to drive up Sierra Rd. since it is late and I was by myself. It can get scary since you’re in total darkness up there. There was a spot on the side walk outside my place and I just sat there toying around with the settings to get a satisfying photo. So far it’s one of my favorite photos that I’ve ever taken. There was something so mesmerizing and beautiful about Super Moon. I felt calm, relaxed and happy. Emotions that I haven’t felt in awhile. Yet at the same time I thought about PC as I stared off into the sky. I wondered if we were looking at the same sky, but who knows? It was a moment I wished I got to share with him, especially if I was to go up to Sierra Point. Anyways, I’m glad I got to see Super Moon! 🙂