For the past couple of nights I haven’t slept so well, but nothing new there. I have a horrible time trying to sleep in general. Anyways, over the weekend I had some really bad nightmares two nights in a row. I would wake up at 4AM scared shitless and trying to forget what happened. But I was too scared to fall back asleep so I’d try to distract myself with some YouTube in hopes that I’ll fall asleep again. There was something just so disturbing about those two nightmares. I pretty much got killed twice in a row. I couldn’t see who murdered me, but it still freaks me out.
Last night I was relieved it wasn’t another nightmare. It was a very sweet dream. It felt so real. It was about PC. I won’t go into details of what exactly happened there, but for once in a long time I felt so close to him than I ever did. I know it sounds so corny, but it did. I was really sad when I woke up because I was disappointed that it was over. His presence in my dream felt so real and it’s been on my mind all day. With some of the things that has occurred recently, I felt so protected and safe when I saw him in my dreams. I wish it was the same in this reality, but unfortunately it’s not. At the end of the day, I am my own protector.
Just something I needed to write and get out of my mind.