His Happiness

He’s someone I haven’t really spoken about in awhile whether it was in a blog post or with a close friend. One of my close friends and I were having our usual girl talk about guys, dating and relationships. Somehow PC got brought up into the conversation. I felt my heart sinking to my stomach. While discussing about him, I got really choked up and resisted the waterworks when I told my friend all that matters to me about him regardless of what he’s possibly up to I just hope that he’s happy. It’s one of those corny, cliche things where you hope for that person that you want to be with that they’re happy whether they’re with you or not. Having to say it out loud to my friend, I felt so torn up inside and I started feeling so sad again. The thought of him being with someone new and just being happy with that person hurts so much, but at least he’s happy, right? I realized how much I care still and if I didn’t then I wouldn’t feel the way that I do right now. There is a ton of little things that reminds me of him especially recently since 2 years ago was when we first spoke to each other around this time. Sometimes I wonder if we’ll ever cross each others paths again and if things will really be better this time around. I’m so crazy to still feel the way that I do about him. Like he even said to me, “you’re silly”. If I could go back in time and do it all over again, I would.

He was a big part of my happiness and I miss it, especially him.

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