It’s been quite awhile since I’ve laughed really hard. I generally have great conversations with friends from back at home and we do laugh at certain things here and there. I’m always the one being goofy and saying stupid jokes to my friends. For awhile they were getting used to seeing me sad and upset and it’s just something they weren’t used to seeing especially quite often. I hated having them or anyone see me like that. Today I had a Google Hangout session with two of my close friends from back at home. My friend P and I were saying something to M about her friend, which was really funny but extremely offensive lol. My stomach hurt and tears were coming with how hard I was laughing. It’s something I haven’t felt in awhile.
I’ve been quite clear and expressive of my emotions here on WP of my experience living in Cali and I just haven’t been completely happy. I feel like after all the shit I’ve been dealing with, all I wanted was either a hug (as childish as it may sound) or a really good laugh. There’s definitely moments where I felt like I wasn’t myself anymore and I just felt like I wasn’t going to be okay for awhile. There’s a moment in the Sex and the City movie where Carrie and the girls go to Mexico to get away after her and Big’s wedding was called off. She felt like sleeping away and hoping to wake up that all the bad things that had happened was a dream. I remember the scene where she asked the girls if she’ll ever laugh again since she was really sad and all. Miranda said to her that when something really, really funny happens she’ll laugh again. That’s exactly how I’ve felt. I guess I’ve been waiting for that “ah-ha” moment to pick me up again with everything that has happened. It has been very difficult for me to put a lot of things behind me. It’s definitely made an impact on me and still affects me in so many ways, but I’ve grown to cope with it a lot better. I’m just glad I’ve had my friends help me get through it.
I was just in an all round great mood today. I haven’t been this happy or laughed this much in awhile. First my friends and our Google Hangout session, watched a really funny episode of the Conan O’Brien Show and then I just got home from hanging out with my friends from Stockton who came to visit. It was nice to get out of the house and to be around them. We went out to feast on crawfish and whatnot. I’m still extremely full and they were really generous and paid the bill. I felt bad so I treated them out to dessert before they headed home. I’m happy to have them here even though Stockton is definitely out of the way.
I’m looking forward to my friends from home visiting in the next 2 weeks and for my friends from Stockton to meet them. I’m even more excited to see another set of friends from home visit after my first round of visitors come. I’ve definitely been keeping an eye on my calendar and counting down to see all these familiar faces again. It’s just really refreshing for me to be in such a great mood. I didn’t realize how long I’ve felt so unhappy until today when I just quickly reflected on the last time I felt this way. All those little things that happened today, like simply watching an episode of Conan O’Brien made me feel better. It wasn’t much but it did the job.
Nothing but good vibes. 🙂