Refreshing

It’s always refreshing to get complimented or at least some kind of recognition for not only your appearance or work ethics, but you’re overall character. Of course not many people here realize the type of person I am. Shit, even people back at home barely know anything about me unless we’re close friends. As for the acquaintances and the social scene I used to be in, I was just someone that you can have fun and party with and someone that had a big liver for alcohol haha. That’s all those people knew about. People could careless who I really was. I was more than just a party girl. It’s not hard for me to get approached and to hold a conversation with a stranger but do they really know what kind of person I am? In my opinion anyone and everyone can be nice. It’s not that difficult, but there’s many ugly sides of people as well. As for me (and everyone too!), we all have our flaws. It’s now 4 months since I’ve been here in Cali and I find it hard for me to really let people in and to let them know me better. My guard is up and I trust no one. When everyone treats you like shit here, could you blame me to be that way? Nope.

Anyways, about a month ago a mutual friend of mines had contacted me. We’ll call him AZ since the other person I’m gonna mention, his name also begins with an A haha. So somewhere through the grape vine AZ found out that I had moved to Cali. I was pretty low key about my move. Only my parents and select close friends knew of my move. Eventually people got the hint that I wasn’t in Boston any more. I had deleted a lot of contacts in my phone because I either don’t talk to you or I don’t care to talk to you. I deleted AZ’s number because I barely ever saw him and we hardly spoke. No hard feelings towards him at all. Very nice guy. He had contacted me mentioning he heard that I had moved to Cali and questioned my moving process and experience here so far since he’s considering on relocating, too.

The conversation drifted towards another direction where he just began venting to me about personal issues in his life. I really felt for the guy. I was in the same position as him and I reassured him he wasn’t alone in having those type of feelings. It’s always comforting to know someone else was in the same shoes as you. I gave him the best advice that I could. After our ongoing text messages began to wind down, I sent him a final text just simply saying to him that even though we hardly know each other, he can always contact me about anything and I’ll do my best to be there and listen. Honestly I would say this to anyone, whether we’re family, close friends, acquaintances or even strangers. I know what it’s like to have to bottle it all up inside and to not have anyone to confide in. When I put that kind of offer out there I mean it whole heartedly and I’m very sincere about it.

He didn’t reply as quickly and I just continued going about my business. Then all of a sudden I finally got a reply and saw this:

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Reading something like that made me feel really great about myself. I don’t think I’m some kind of saint but for someone that hardly knew me to recognize that I’m a good person meant a lot to me. I actually smiled and got teary when I read that haha. Seriously, people here has managed to make me feel so shitty about myself that to read something like that from someone back at home meant a lot to me. It reassured myself that I wasn’t a crazy, anti social bitch or a shitty person. That feeling of being an outcast went away …temporarily haha.

So now here’s AM. I couldn’t sleep last night after being heavily addicted in the new K-drama I was watching, I like to browse through Twitter when I’m in bed. AM tweets here and there, and I like reading his tweets. He’s a really funny and smart guy and those qualities definitely peeks through on his Twitter haha. He’s also another person who I rarely saw and we knew each other through mutual friends. He’s always hilarious and nice whenever I do see him. This dude is always smiling and just being goofy. Nonetheless, very entertaining guy haha. Here’s our mini Twitter conversation:

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When I woke up this morning and saw his reply, that put a smile on my face. With all the melt downs and stress I’ve been dealing with that was just something really nice to see especially in the morning. Mind you both these guys from back at home don’t know too much about me, but it was just very nice and sweet to read something like that.

I think every now and then we all want to hear something nice from someone. It makes your day go by smoother and it definitely uplifts your mood. Although these put a temporary smile on my face, it makes me feel even better to know that I’m not forgotten about by some people back at home …even those that I’m not close to.

Maybe one day people here (or in general) will recognize these qualities about myself without me having to say too much. Can’t reveal everything, ya know?

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