These past couple of days haven’t been the greatest. I’ve been confiding in my friends from back at home and I am beyond thankful to have such amazing people in my life. Today was just a horrible day. It was a domino effect of bad luck. Although shit kept falling apart after another, they were there for me throughout the day. They picked me up when I needed it the most. I have to say I definitely hit rock bottom today. I was a total wreck and it upset myself even more to have my friends witness the state I was in through via Facetime, Skype and hearing the sadness through the phone. Every time after a conversation ended with a friend, my attitude got a bit more positive ….until the funk hit the fan and rain on my parade. I get it. Shit happens. We all struggle. I’m at a very low point in my life. I know I’ll bounce back and be okay. I just feel like there’s a problem no matter which corner I turn to. I’m trying my best to steer clear of the path of depression, but I find myself closer to that line. I’m scared. I’ve already gradually seen the funny and weird self withering away. That just kills me. Some of my friends that I haven’t seen or spoken to since my move has noticed a change in me during our video chat session. They’re worried and try to comfort me in any way they can. I guess I can’t hide it anymore. Shit, even I can see all the sadness in my own eyes. I’m losing myself. They’ve noticed a change in my health, personality, everything. They’re my friends so they know me the best. I could never hide anything from them no matter how hard I tried.
I’m taking the time to breathe and figure out the solutions than to meander about the problems that I am dealing with. I need to take better care of myself that’s the first step. I’ve been neglecting my health which obviously isn’t a great thing. I’m just so exhausted and overwhelmed from everything where I just want to curl up in bed and sleep. I just don’t know what else to do but to just give my mind a break on my pillow. I’ve finally pulled myself together and drove myself to Starbucks to get some fresh air and a hot beverage to comfort me. I just need some clarity. After arriving to Starbucks and getting settled into my seat at the outdoor seating area with my green tea latte, I got to read something my friend sent me. It definitely was refreshing and uplifting to read it. Here’s the link to what my friend sent me: click here.
I know that during this difficult time I know I can count on my friends. Their love and support has definitely helped me get through today. I have to say that I am truly one lucky girl to have these people in my life. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.