Past To Present

Lately I’ve noticed that the men from my past are starting to come from out of the blue. Things ended on a relatively good note with myself and those guys so there’s no reason for any hostility. We never dated seriously, but nonetheless we still dated for a short period of time. I’ve had quite a bit of history with a couple of them. Although they weren’t the best relationships I was in, they’re still decent guys. It has lingered my mind a lot as to why they’ve each suddenly sprung up again in my life. It’s caught me off guard having an old yet familiar face contact me again. So far it’s been a different guy during the past couple of days last week. It’s just something that’s really been on my mind and I can’t seem to shake it off.

I can’t help but to question what their motives and intentions are. Is there even a motive? It’s hard to not be so skeptical about it. For example, one of the guys MT had contacted me last week. We’ve gone way back with each other. I’ve known him since I was about 13 years old and we grew up in the same city. I’m friends with some of his family due to mutual friends and us attending school together. Anyways, we somehow ended up developing feelings for each other and just gave it a shot to date. He was much more quiet and reserved than the crazy, partying 21 year old I was. I was much more aggressive than he was and it’s just how I’ve always been with the guys I’ve dated. After dating for a short period of time, we gradually stopped talking. It went from daily “hey how’s your day?” to crickets. I was kinda sad about it, but we both had to move on as for any breakup. We pretty much haven’t spoken in about 4 years and I just thought it was so random how he had contacted me. Shit, I was even surprised he still had my number lol. We spoke for a bit and did some catching up. I eventually asked him why he even contacted me. His response was to just see how I’m doing. In some ways, I feel like he wants to rekindle a flame that’s been blown out years ago. It was really awkward when he had randomly mentioned certain moments for when we dated lol. As much of a nice guy he is, I really wouldn’t consider dating him again. He’s pretty much been shafted to the friend zone lol.

As for the other guys, I’m sure I’ll get the same response from them like I did with MT. I just wonder a lot though. I kinda feel like it’s a sign, but perhaps I’m over thinking it all. But c’mon now … how often does a couple of your exes contact you? As cliché as this may sound, exes are exes for a reason. It all might be harmless, but still … my guard is up. Only one out of the bunch has been an exception and that was PC. I don’t know if anything will ever happen again, but our paths has crossed again and it’s been on my mind. My friends have questioned me about a few things about him and it’s just all on my mind. I do miss everything about him and I still genuinely care about him. In some ways I felt like he was that one guy that sorta got away after 8 years with MB. Feelings for other guys never matched up to MB…until PC came along. I feel like it is hard to let something like that go so easily and I shouldn’t give up on it either. Is it all really a sign or just pure coincidence?

We’ll see…


One thought on “Past To Present

  1. I have a bad habit of revisiting old relationships. I go out with them and i’m reminded of why we broke up. Damn drunken nights of mis-judgement

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