Let’s face it, I’ve been a total bitch lately and very snappy towards a lot of people. I’m extra sensitive and I get offended easily. No, it’s not PMS. This whole unemployment business has gotten to me pretty badly. It’s not something I enjoy nor am I proud of. Change is what I wanted and change is what I got. I’m prepared to start my life over. I went from working a full time job with my own place, financially stable, and just pretty much all round having my shit together. I had things going for me and it truly has hurt my pride a lot to not be in that stable place that I was once at. I left for the west coast to pursue better opportunities for my career. That is my main goal for this move. I didn’t plan to move out west to party or to get away from Boston in general. I am very ambitious, driven and very passionate about my career. I don’t get why people don’t understand that aspect of me. I have that “work hard, work harder” mentality, not work hard, play harder kinda deal.
It just gets tiring to be asked the same questions over and over again. “How’s the job hunt going?” “Have you gone on any interviews?” “Any word back yet?” I know those are harmless general questions, but just get off of my fucking case already. I’ve made light jokes that I’m a bum with no income and I try not to take things too personal, but I can’t help it. I get annoyed if you’re the SAME fucking person asking me the SAME fucking question almost EVERY fucking day. When I tell them in a polite manner that I don’t want to talk about it, they get offended. I’m not being rude and saying, “Shut the fuck up already” lol. Although I refrain from saying that because them asking so many damn questions is considered to be borderline nagging to me and I absolutely HATE nagging. I appreciate the concern, but seriously I really don’t want to talk about it. It’s something that’s constantly on my mind and it’s already stressful for me as is. I am consistently applying and I’ve gone on several interviews. I know this is gonna take some time, but c’mon lets talk about something else.
I do however get offended when someone brings up my financial matters. I’m pretty responsible and I know what I need to do. It’s not like I’m going on some kind of shopping spree and living this supposed leisurely life. As I said before, I do not enjoy being unemployed, but who fucking does? lol. I went from having a hectic schedule that was always filled with something to do and now I have a lot of free time that I’m trying to fill up again. It’s annoying when someone assumes that I’m “living the life” because I have all this free time. I am taking advantage of it though to do some things that I didn’t get to do before when I was employed, such as traveling and just having more time for myself. Regardless, it’s no one’s business unless you’re my spouse and contributing to my bills. I’ve found myself pushing a lot of people away as soon as they just get me angry. I’m not asking for anyone to be sympathetic about my situation. I just want you to give me some respect and to not bring it up. It’s as simple as that. Maybe once I get back on my feet again, I won’t be as much of an asshole haha. I really am trying to be as optimistic about this job search, but it doesn’t help with the repetitive questions.
There are other things going on in my life that is causing me to be this big bitch right now and I don’t feel the need to go into those details with anyone. It is what it is.
Tomorrow will be a better day.